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Life's curve balls

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Just when you think you might be getting a handle on things, life has a way of throwing you curve balls.

I thought I had fully recovered from a minor auto accident I had last September. I had finished chiro and massage and was feeling good and was thinking of closing my claim. But then, bam! Sciatica flared raising its ugly head. Ok, I've now dealt with that since the accident and thought it would subside after a few days of meds, rest and stretches. But no, this was different. I had sudden weakness in my left leg and the large muscles in both thighs (back side) were super super tight and no amount of stretching could get them to loosen up. Now I was having serious trouble walking. WTH?! So my dr. referred me to physiatry (pain doctor) who did some testing and felt the weakness in my left leg and other symptoms indicated that I had a nerve bring pinched in my lower spine and he referred me to PT. He thought that might help, but if it didn't insurance wouldn't approve further testing until after conservative treatment options had been tried.

So I go to my first PT. She says we will do stretches to help strengthen my core. Well there's a bonus, being 300# my core needs to be stronger. I could feel the stretching of the muscles and it felt good. But I didn't have any relief from the hyper taught leg muscles. Go to 2nd PT, add a few more stretches and then continue with at home stretching exercises. But now the leg weakness is worse as I now have tingling and numbness in the left leg going all the way down to my foot. I can literally hardly walk. The tightness was fighting with the weakness and I was a hobbling unstable mess. My hips are now messed up and everything is starting to hurt from walking so out of balance. I call physiatrist in tears, he tells me to come in first thing the next morning, this was August 7th. Parking at my clinic is horrible, usually have to park at least a block out from the building. I painfully hobble to the dr. office. I'm a hot sweaty mess by the time I get there and I'm in tears. He did some more tests (testing strength or lack thereof in my legs) and says its time for an MRI so we can see what is happening. The pinched nerve is getting worse. My MRI is scheduled for Sunday, 9/1. Seems so far off. Now the weakness is also in my right leg along with the tingling.

I'm an emotional eater and now I cannot walk, absolutely cannot do stairs. My legs are too weak to lift me up - have to pull myself up using door know or hand rail or whatever I can grab. The eating, I ate for comfort. Bad food choices - fast food, pizza, husband bought me cheetos. Love it but hated it too. It all tasted good, but in the end made me feel worse.

I've been large my entire adult life. But I have always been flexible and strong and active. Now I'm not. Double wammy! I cannot walk a grocery store. My legs were cramping to the point of tears and couldn't stand but only lean on the cart halfway thru the store. I have worked 2-3 jobs for 3 years now...always on the go. We need the income from the 2nd job as husband is on disability and cost of living has gone up so much (on top of getting used to living with the extra income - now it's a necessity). I cannot work my 2nd job - haven't been able to for 4 weeks now. It was after returning to my full work schedule for 4 weeks that the nerve issue became exposed. Thankfully we do have credit cards available for the short fall right now...but what about next month? Going further into debt just to get by, let alone whatever medical costs are ahead of us. The stress and anxiety really push me into the bad food zone.

I had to buy a cane the other day. It does help. Pain is exhausting, hobbling around is exhausting. Crying seems to be a daily thing now, actually several times a day. Sometimes its frustration, other times its because I hurt. I keep so much bottled up inside me as I try to get through the days....its so very hard. I have to be strong though to fight through this.

Spinal injections scare me, but so does the thought of surgery or even worse. I'm turning 53 in October and thought this could be the year for me to step forward....but life keeps pushing back.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh, I hope your doctor has found a way to give you some relief. Stress on top of the pain must be horrible. I like the information the above person posted about sugar and inflammation. Don't know that it will help a pinched nerve, but it is still good information. Take care and continue to reach out for support. My DH has a morphine pump to keep his back pain at a level that he can function in his daily life. Before he had the pump, Paul couldn't sit through a meal because of the pain. You are not alone.
    628 days ago
    631 days ago
    This sucks and is so unfair! Sigh. I have been in your shoes and I now know what worked for me was scientifically based. I also know that if someone had told me to do it I would have rebelled...oh yeah, I did. But I was desperate. Carbs break down to sugars and sugars cause inflammation and inflammation causes pain. Carbs also trigger hunger. Try an experiment. Stop eating. I was diabetic and on two insulin’s but am no longer on insulin’s and no longer on ANY medications. But more important for you to hear, I am healing from nerve damage in my neck and back. I am using fasting to heal. In fact I run retreats now for therapeutic fasting but you can do it on your own. It is simple, don’t eat. If you do eat eat fats. Avocados, eggs, olives or olive oil, bacon, butter. If you are at all interested watch some of Dr. Jason Fung’s YouTube’s about fasting. People have fasted for thousands of years. Our bodies have tantrums (headache, feeling ill, weakness) but it is just hormones kicking in before our bodies remember how to burn the fat in our bodies. And then....the Nobel prize winning discovery from 2016...when our bodies switch into Keto burning instead of sugar burning, it is able to start housecleaning. Repairs instead of sugar storage. Do the experiment. Drink all the water or zero carb beverages you want. Most women see the “change” at around 36 hours. That would be like not eating after 7:00, not eating all the next day, then have breakfast after your next sleep. Choose to binge on Netflix or choose to decluttering drawers, or choose to read trashy novels. Put the money you would have spent on food onto your credit card. Am I crazy? No. My family doctor is 100% supportive. Thousands of people are realizing that not eating is powerful. If you are curious there are similar findings about Keto which is low carb, high fat but it can be more costly than not eating. But egg or tuna salad (mayo) is super low carb and cheap. It’s just a suggestion and I’m really sorry. I just watched a podcast about cutting out carbs and they said because we are addicted to them, stopping eating them is like killing our best friend. I get that too. But I feel like a million bucks now and am so grateful. No matter what you choose, you do have options. You will get through this. Hugs
    632 days ago
    I hear you. I am so sorry about all the pain you are experiencing. It is not fun. I have suffered from multiple spine, muscle joint issues for a long time. I remember being because I had done everything I could think of with no relief. When you can't get off the bed or chair, can't get to the bathroom. The pain is devastating. All you can do is cry, cuss and eat. I pray you get some relief. Sometimes heat helps, sometimes stretching your limbs as hard as you can helps. Trying to walk bend etc did not help. Sometimes standing helped but usually sitting was the only relief I got. Laying down not too good. Many of us understand and feel your pain. You are not alone and here you do not have to put on a face. HUGS.
    632 days ago
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