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My life as it is now.

Monday, August 19, 2019

I’m two weeks back here, I think. My husband was hospitalized three times since last December with congestive heart failure. This was something I thought could be cured. Now I’m not so sure. My once-sunny husband is sometimes difficult. I get that he’s easily tired and he’s worried about the edema in his legs. We’re both worried. His PCP says he has to put his legs up. The physical therapist says he has to walk. My husband complies when he feels like it. I put up his feet on an ottoman, then he takes them off after a while. If I say anything he says, “No, I’ll be getting up.” After an hour, maybe he will. I cook fresh food without salt, keep his feet moisturized and put on those damned TED stockings on his feet every day. I don’t know what else to do. I bought him a snazzy 4-wheeled walker with a seat, after a scary incident where he said he couldn’t go any further with his normal walker, and I had to get a wheelchair and help from our (thankfully wonderful) neighbors. Now he uses the new walker like a wheelchair and sits in it while moving it forward with his feet. Pretty sure that isn’t going to help the circulation in his his leg muscles. But I get tired of being a cop. I just wonder what will happen. Is this as good as it will ever get?
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  • FUNNYFACE101002
    I just read your blog. I am so sorry. I understand how all this is frustrating. My husband has diabetes. I hate having to be his carb cop. I hope that you are learning new ways to adjust to your new ways. I am thinking of you. Hugs my friend.
    473 days ago
    Hi! I just came over from Aging Care and found you here. I'm sorry to hear about your husband, and I understand the sometimes frustrating nature of caregiving. I did know a woman with congestive heart failure. It is possible to live with modifications. Life will never be the same as it was before, and he'll need to listen to the doc esp about the important things, - limiting salt, wearing the TEDS, and movement, etc. But I think what helped her live decades with this was that she kept moving. He needs the muscles in his legs moving more than ever because his heart is weakened. Those leg muscles can help keep the blood - and the fluids - moving back up towards the heart & though the body to be filtered & reoxygenated. The general thing they tell most with CHF (and other things - even I must do these things for my health issues!) is elevate your legs when you're not using them, and move around as much as possible when you are. Every patient has a different level of ability. One thing I found that has helped me is knowing that your kidneys work best to eliminate fluids when you're lying prone. That makes getting enough sleep while lying flat (not in my recliner, haha) really essential for not retaining too much fluid.
    Glad to find you here! emoticon
    500 days ago
    I just met you over on my blog, so I came over to say hi, and thought I'd visit your blog. I was so happy to read about your own new numbers, and I'm sure sorry this is happening with you and to your DH. I wonder if he's a little low, thinking his body is betraying him? My DH and I were caregivers for his mom, and that happened. She was caregiver to her DH before he passed, he was way crabbier and more stubborn than your DH sounds! There is a limit to what you can make him do, and you're not bad for not insisting on more. You have to be just his wife sometimes, I think. I don't know, I just think that. Meanwhile, I'll be including you two in my prayers for healing. Don't forget to take care of you, too!
    507 days ago
    514 days ago
    1. Take care of yourself, because others depend on you.

    2. You can't make someone else do what they must. Do the BEST you can for YOU and let that be the inspiration. Drop comments often about your goals and how YOU are progressing. It's contagious! If nothing else, you will be at your best health to deal with what needs to be dealt with. This will help your mental health, which is affected by the fear and concern you feel for your DH, much less the caregiving you do.

    My best,
    McDougall Plan Co-leader
    516 days ago
    On the bright side, he is still using his feet & therefore some leg muscles to move . Hope fully he'll do more in time. Idea: elevate legs in bed at night, then they will be slightly higher than heart level & that should increase better circulation!
    517 days ago
    I'm really sorry to hear the challenges your home is going through. I hope you are able to take time for you to recharge.
    517 days ago
    Sorry to hear about your husband. You are doing some very nice things for him. I do hope things improve emoticon
    517 days ago
    I wish I had a few suggestions for you. Its a tough job being a caregiver for a loved one. I had to take care of my mother as she was dying from cancer.
    517 days ago
    So sorry to hear this. Stay encouraged friend.
    517 days ago
    I am so sorry to hear this and sent a prayer that he improves and a prayer for you too.
    517 days ago
    HUGS. Being a caregiver, especially to a spouse, is way difficult. You are doing the right things for your DH. It's scary for both of you. Sometimes men will try to control what they think they can (like taking his feet off the ottoman after you've put them there.) **SIGH** Frustrating for you, but maybe in his mind he sees it as something he can control. I was caregiver for both my parents and beieve me, saw lots of this type of behavior. Really, just keep doing what you're doing, gentle reminders to DH and HOPEFULLY he will start doing some of these things on his own.

    517 days ago
  • 712237
    I hear your challenges as being a caregiver & hope your husband sees improvement in his health soon.
    517 days ago
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