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Stress, Anxiety, and Disputes

Thursday, July 11, 2019

Ugh. Feeling... off, today. My girlfriend and best friend (who have never met) had an indirect fight through me. T_T Long story short, they have VERY different political views and my best friend is worried that my girlfriend will make me change my beliefs and that will, in turn, cause inner turmoil (which happened in the past). I'm really torn about it because, while I like my girlfriend, I will absolutely choose my friends over her. I've only been dating her for a few weeks and I've known my best friend for about twenty years. To be clear, my values and views align with my friend's, but my girlfriend and I basically agreed to disagree without much fighting. Also, after the first date, I told my friend "I don't know about her" strictly because of my girlfriend's beliefs.
That said, I've got two dates scheduled with her this weekend and I'll be seeing my friend next weekend. I'm not being forced to choose one or the other, but my friend has a solid point. Do I really want to be with someone whose political views are so different from my own? The answer is no, not long term. This could be the beginning of the end, but, for now, it's just for fun.
In other news, no real weight loss this week, that I've seen. It's surprising because I walked a LOT this weekend. I know one day was 9 miles, and the other was 4 miles (both, in the heat no less!). Probably weight due to strength training, dehydration, stress, and not sleeping well (girlfriend is a terrible night owl). I'm trying to get back to tracking accurately. It's hard.
I know that part of my stress is self-imposed, in two parts. For one, I'm trying to please too many people, fulfill too many desires, and my schedule is bursting at the seams. Like, my birthday is next week, but I'm probably not going to be able to stop and celebrate until the end of the month.
The second part of the stress is the opposite. I'm not prioritizing the small things, which adds up. I've got laundry to do, my car and room are a mess, and I have been terrible at getting meal prep done ahead of time. When I do have time, I come to a full stop and relax. Often, that means eating junk. Cookies, cakes, peanut butter (a LOT of peanut butter), bread, junk, etc..
I'm also probably working out too much, but it also doesn't feel like enough. I know you cannot outwork a bad diet, but I'm having a hard time controlling my diet. I know it's all about getting back to my plan, eliminating junk from easy access, etc. It's just doing it.
I think next week, I'm going to do a full "natural foods" week, where it's all whole food, with as little added oil, sugar, etc. as possible. Not as weight loss thing, but just as a "Can I do it for a week?" thing. I'll probably find out something about myself while I'm at it.
Some day my anxiety will be gone and I'll be happy with my body. Today is not that day.
Sleep long, stay strong, and keep on keepin' on!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PICKIE98
    The biggest life lesson I have learned:Stay true to yourself, do not change who you are for anybody. Period. This is different than compromise. MY oldest and dearest friend I have known for 64 years. We disagree on lots of thins, but we are like blood sisters. Nobody has ever changed that.

    Dates are cool:Friends rule! (No, not Bro's before Ho's). Kinda, sorta..
    76 days ago
  • SPICY23
    A friend who cares about you enough to risk speaking up is a treasure. S/He will probably understand if you don't follow the advice that was offered. You will figure this out.

    emoticon emoticon Peace and Care
    95 days ago
  • OOLALA53
    I was going to say something about there being examples of couples on the opposite end politically- probably the most famous one now is James Carvill and Mary Matalin, who agree on lots of life issues beyond government-, but honestly, I think that is not typical. A lot depends on how much politics matters to each of you. Also, you don't have to answer, but I'd ask what about her attracts you beyond the physical, if that's a major draw. Does she share some other values important to you? Do you feel she is basically honest and kind in her dealings with you and others? Do you share a similar sense of humor? Do you feel a compelling blend of ease and excitement around this person? It's important to be honest because some of the greatest pain in relationships is from getting too deep in with people where there is little chance of it working out, unless both parties are okay with that.

    Regarding the eating, I hear ya! I'm going through trying to come off a rather long relapse, though it led to weight regain only recently. I'm finding it harder than when my eating was way worse and I weighed another 40 lbs. Plus, I"m older and can't eat as much without feeling full, but still not satisfied. Sigh. I'm reviewing my original reasons for wanting to tame my overeating (always my focus even more than weight loss. It's not comfortable overeating, even if I could stay slim doing it. Plenty of slim, miserable overeaters out there).

    Good luck in your quests!

    95 days ago
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    96 days ago
    There are many relationships where both parties are on the opposite spectrum politically. DH and I have been married 36 years and together nearly 38. We frequently disagree with politics, there are politicians married to people who are of the opposite party. My husband is more gung ho in his beliefs and with the current political climate we choose not to tell the other their party is stupid or crooks or what-ever we are feeling at the moment. We find it stimulating to finding common ground in our belief and how the other person comes to their conclusions. As long as everything is done with respect and sometimes not always you can make it work. I'm sorry your friend isn't willing to listen to a different point of view.
    96 days ago
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