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Spangle 54-59 Emotional Eating

Wednesday, July 03, 2019

100 Days of Weight Loss, Day 54: Eating to Feel Better

I don't want to stay caught up in the cycle anymore.

emoticonMove your body: I do not get the same euphoria from exercise as I do from food. It is a cycle I have to force and I have to work to maintain. Yes I do feel better when I move and I have to keep reminding myself of this!

emoticon Get some rest: I can sleep/but not sleep around the clock. A few minutes of rest or a nap ends up turning into half the day then I don't sleep at night. What does work for me is meditation. Specifically sitting on the front porch in rocking chair.

emoticon Distract yourself: I can mentally escape into books. emoticon I need to learn to escape into house cleaning and yard work and other things I procrastinate from doing.

Instant Energy: emoticon emoticon hydrate, hydrate, hydrate does helps me.
Taking the time to make a "to do" list helps me to get through the day. Staying busy so that I wear myself out enough to sleep at night helps.

I think I do better with an energy balance instead of energy peaks because energy peaks usually lead to energy valleys that I plummet into and then have to force myself into crawling out of just to get through the necessities of the day.

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I absolutely love reading each other's thoughts. Day 5 or day 58, I can see how everything relates to me. Just do it!! I am also totally a heart eatter!
emoticon I crave smooth and creamy. Peanut butter is also a problem for me. Mashed potatoes, ice cream etc.

Day 55: Food is the consolation prize
Eating to escape reality...

I was an overweight child with glasses that magnified ONE eye, who also had a speech impairment because of hearing problems. I don't think anyone would choose to have been me. Eating to escape reality was my reality!!! It never fixed me or made life easier. I can remember an aunt telling a story about when she babysit me as a young child and I keep asking for something and she couldn't understand what I was trying to say. I was frustrated and she was frustrated. Turns out I wanted cereal. She tried to feed me everything in her refrigerator and pantry before figuring out what I wanted. I was taught to solve problems through binging at a very young age. Temporary gratification with food has always compounded my problems.

I do still have emotional eating binges that is why I think it is important to explore the cognitive aspect of losing weight.

Emotional binges of the week have included chips (frustrated) and sherbet (heart). Neither binge solved anything in my life. My husband is still disabled, I still have anxiety.

Just say "No"! Pull up my big girl panties. Choose me. Food is not the answer.



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Day 56: Head hunger

Hmmm....frustrated and depressed and might as well add impulse (taking because it is there). I am dealing with a combination of feelings and frustrations ALL THE TIME.


I like crunchy and chewy. I can mindlessly eat my way through a bag of chips, sleeve of Ritz crackers, package of cookies. I am better if it is keep out of the house. Problem is I live with two other human beings. One who is extremely demanding. I also have no "mind" for portion control.

A 4 pack of nutter butter or a family pack it does not matter if it is opened, I will eat until gone.

I am really trying to avoid all C.R.A.P. - I live way out in the country. Nothing is easily accessible. When I am emotionally strong and avoid buying and bringing it in the house then I do better with keeping on track.

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I think maintaining at 300 is a victory. I have been up emoticon down emoticon all around 300 (306 today) for the last 8 months. Yes, I would love to loose more but I am very proud of myself that I am not back at 360. So many folks want to be "normal" but I think we have to be "realistic". I also think that having a plateau is a way that gives our bodies a time to adjust. My blood work is great my A1C was actually on the low end.

I have a friend who is 220. To me she looks fantastic. She has woman curves and she looks healthy. I am only 5'3", so the charts say I should weigh 120-130 pounds. That seems unrealistic. A goal of loosing 80 pounds is BIG but 180 pounds seems daunting and unachievable. If I can't do it why even try? Negative thinking takes over. I have to celebrate and be happy where I am at in order to continue to maintain or have anymore progress. Not sure if this makes sense???


High School 1986 -180# and I thought I was morbidly obese. I wonder how different life would have been if anyone would have told me that I was perfectly fine and at a healthy weight?

My doctor was over the moon emoticon with my bloodwork. I have RA and the weight does cause added problems less weight = less stress. My doctor treats me with a reasonable amount of respect and always tells me that she knows I know what to do. She skips lectures and standard charts. I also live in a little bitty town, she knows my family history and the day to day stress I live with. My life my journey when I am ready then I will loose more. She is all about slow and steady and making small life adjustment that are maintainable. First doctor I have had who took the "embrace the plateau" attitude.

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Day 57: Head hunger "instead"
Crunch away frustrations...

Sometimes I am worse than a pig rooting for truffles. I have found that one of my best strategies is to substitute the crunch for a healthy alternative.
emoticon carrots and emoticon apples are my "go to crunch" . I am better on track and in better control as long as I have them to grab instead of chips, cookies, crackers etc.

I would like to say that "instead" of eating when frustrated:
*I will ride my recumbent bike.
*blog
*read
*sat on front porch in rocking chair
* play with dog

The list is great and fine to remind myself that I can't eat away frustrations. There are other alternatives. Reality is there are going to be times that I do turn to food so I need a plan to control the damages. Crunchy through a bag of carrots can sometimes get me through a binge and keeps me in calorie intake range at the same time.

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Day 58: Heart hunger/Day 59: Heart hunger "insteads"

Empty emotions and depression is something I do struggle with EVERDAY!! I thought this Jim Carrey post summed it all up rather well.

I can eat an entire box of ice cream and while it may soothe me for a little while it always has consequences. The sugar high is followed by a crash. I have a lactose sensitivity that means dairy products are going to put me into gastric distress. It is CrAzy to eat something that will cause physical pain because of abdominal cramping not to mention the diarrhea. Maybe it is more mental for me. Soothing with pain???

emoticon I took anti depression medication for years. My problems never went away. I still lost a baby. My first partner still got another woman pregnant while going through fertility treatment with me. My husband still got sick. The fat little girl who is hearing impaired and wears pop bottle glasses still lives in me.I don't want to be numb to the world and that is what the pills do to me. I do think some people do need medication it is just not for me. I choose a more natural holistic approach. Treating mind, body and spirit.


I am going to choose:
emoticon Sunshine
emoticon Healthy food
emoticon Friendship and support
emoticon Exercise
emoticon Peace and positivity

I choose Me!




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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • RKOTTEK
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    479 days ago
  • GARDENCHRIS
    took courage to write all that , prove you are stronger than you think you really are! Become your own best friend and FIGHT for her! emoticon emoticon
    479 days ago
  • 36BEATRICE
    Blessings! Thank you for sharing. and a big YES to your ´I choose me ´!
    As I get older, it becomes even more obvious that this is the most loving and generous thing I can do for me and for others.
    emoticon
    Plateaux are part of the journey. Time to stop, think, take stock and reflect. Glad that you have such an intelligent doctor. emoticon
    Love, love love your high school picture and the Jim Carrey quote.
    480 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/4/2019 8:20:06 AM
  • ATHLETELORI
    You are an amazing woman. I feel so blessed to be your friend and to be on this journey with you. We are both learning so much.
    480 days ago
  • 1965KAREN
    This is real and raw. I understand things better by reading this. You don't walk this journey alone. So much of what you said I can relate to. And the other things, aren't your definition of who you are, but what you've gone through. In my eyes, it's more of what your reaction has been to the things that are happening in your life. And to me, I see you dancing through the rain storms. You have made such a huge success with your determination, strength and courage! I follow your lead and enjoy the journey with you. It is obvious that your life is not easy, but you are a sweet and caring lady with amazing strength. I truly admire you. Your faith is so obvious and I believe it is your faith in God that will see you through this. Along with a lot of friends!
    480 days ago
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