Jokes and sleep
Sunday, June 30, 2019
This month the focus for the Buddy Support Group Challenge was sleep and getting to bed by YOUR bedtime. Sleep is as essential for good health as oxygen, food and water. Most scientists agree that sleep is important for restoring physical and mental health. It refreshes the mind and repairs the body.
Lack of sleep, or sleep deprivation, can cause fatigue, poor concentration and memory, mood disturbances, impaired judgement and reaction time, and poor physical coordination.Today, sleep deprivation is common in developed nations, with the average adult sleeping for only six or seven hours each night. The Sleep Health Foundation recommends that adults should aim for 7–9 hours of sleep per night.
How much sleep do you get a night? My sleep depend on whether I am working the next day. I get more than 8 hours if I am not working the next day. I get about 6-7 hours if I am working the next day. Do you think it is enough? I must need more sleep since I find myself taking naps in the day time. I especially need naps on days I work. Are you satisfied with your sleep habits? I think my sleep habit are pretty good. How would you like to improve them, if at all? I wish I could find a way to go to bed early on night when I am working the next day. But I can't take my shower until mom fall asleep.
Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "You gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"
"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"A hundred dollars per visit."
"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.
Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.
"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."
"Is that so! How?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
Do you know the difference between genius and stupid?
“Genius has its limits.”
At a popular port all the crew applied for leave except one.
“What’s the matter,” asked an officer. “Are you the only one who doesn’t have a wife in this port?”
“No,” was the reply, “I’m the only one who has
One day a boy asked his grandpa “grandpa make a frog sound”
The grandfather asked why?
The boy said, “Grandma says when you croak we are going to Hawaii”
A lady who was known as Churchill's main rival in parliament was giving a speech. Churchill, with his usual enthusiasm for his rival, dozed off while the lady was speaking. She stopped her speech and awoke Sir Winston by yelling, "Mr. Churchill, must you sleep while I talk?" Churchill sleepily replied, "No, ma'am. I do so purely by choice."
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Little Johnny replied, "Because people are sleeping."