Get upside down.
As odd as the suggestion was to me, I didn't think it was totally out of this world. Yoga has become my new favorite thing. It's been a healing art that has been putting me on the floor more, on a mat, focusing on my breathing, my body and finding new ways to bring life and light to it. The stretching changes me in ways that are not always expected. Sometimes it's a beautiful, relieving feeling of the stress being squeezed out of me.
Other times the stretch brings on the tears, that are normally unexpected. Pigeon Pose does me in. The hip-opening stretch, which releases pent up tension in the hips, can make me cry something fierce. And I love that.
Because I tend to hold it all inside.
And it actually feels good to get it all out.
I've been working through a depression that has caught me off guard. Like a shadow following me around, sometimes quietly and other times loudly. Keeping it quiet, hoping it would go away, didn't work.
I found the key to the beginning of healing for me was to give it life...and talk about it.
So I did.
And have been grateful for that decision every day since. For me, giving it life and acknowledging it as being a part of me, gave me freedom from it. No longer do I feel shame for these feelings. Now I have tools that help me along, finding my way to the healing that works for me.
Yoga has been the beginning of this healing. As I work through the waves of emotions that depression can bring, I have learned to get quiet and listen. It helps. Sometimes I simply ask God what I need to do at that moment, to get me through it.
The answer I heard one evening was "Get upside down."
It came through loudly enough to make me shrug my shoulders and say "Okay then." Then moved to the floor and popped up into a headstand. I held that headstand for about 1 minute, then released myself down. Feeling a bit buzzed from all of the blood in my head, I smiled and looked up and said "Thank you."
Sometimes a new perspective helps the moment.
Since then I've begun work on learning other inversions. Working up to forearm stand is a goal. I'm finding facing the fear of that pose is challenging. So I slowly work towards it. Keeping one leg on the wall....because I'm not ready for it to let go yet.
Kind of feels like a metaphor for life and all of its changes at times.