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jokes and unhealthy food

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

jokes and unhealthy food
This is my blog for my A&I team for this week. Do you have unhealthy foods that seem to find their way into your home either from your partner/spouse or from you unconsciously buying them and bringing them home? My problem is mom like dessert. My bother want to make mom happy so they buy her dessert. Whatever it cookies ,pies cakes, sweet bread, or candy it find it way to my home, Right one we have 3 rhubarb pies in the freezer. A huge bag of chocolate and a box of chocolate on the dinning room. table. Sweet bread on the kitchen table. In the refrigerator we have 2 pieces of cheese cakes, a lemon pie, ice cream and a piece of lemon cake. My brothers bring it over and I am the one who have to give it to mom. If so, what are most tempting to you and have you found a way to avoid eating them? The ice cream is the most temping to me. I try to give mom the ice cream when I am on spark. The reason being if I am doing something with my brain maybe I won't crave the ice cream. Itwork some time but not always.

Now for your jokes
* If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos.....then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

* Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

* Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

* A person who smiles in the face of adversity.....probably has a scapegoat.
* Plagiarism saves time.

* If at first you don't succeed, try management.

* Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

* TEAMWORK.....means never having to take all the blame yourself.

Easy to Swallow?
Helen..... and her husband, Tony, had just finished tucking their young ones into bed one evening when they heard crying coming from the children's room. Rushing in, they found Tommy crying hysterically.
He had accidentally swallowed a A DOLLAR COIN and was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking could change his mind. Trying to calm him, Chris palmed a DOLLAR coin that he happened to have in his pocket and pretended to remove it from Tommy's ear. Tommy, naturally, was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it and demanded cheerfully - 'Do it again, Dad!'

The homeless woman
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her billfold, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some chocolate with it instead of dinner?” “No,” I had to stop chocolate years ago, the homeless woman replied.
Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked. “No,” I don’t waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” the woman asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”
“Well,” said the woman, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight.”
The homeless woman was astounded. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
The woman replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, And chocolate.

A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."
The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff... church, church, church."

Getting in shape:
A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 a.m. jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what “runner’s euphoria” was. “Runner’s euphoria,” he explained, “is what I feel at 5:30 on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.”

Starting that diet:
My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.
“Good!” I exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”
“Great!” she replied. “I’ll ride with you.”
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My husband sabotages my efforts, especially when I say I went down on the scale. Great jokes! emoticon
    160 days ago
    It is so difficult when someone else in your house is eating the foods you may crave and want to avoid! I don't know what the solution is when your family is trying to make your mom happy with the sweets. Keeping preoccupied with SparkPeople is a good idea!
    162 days ago
  • BEFIT019
    Love the jokes!
    WOW! That is a lot of sweets in your freezer! Hard to resist all that. They sell individual servings, also...Just a thought.
    162 days ago
    My husband does that too. He buys my mom all kinds of desserts. And who do you think has to give them to her.
    Love your jokes as always!

    Have a great day!
    162 days ago
    Good luck staying away from all those sweets! emoticon
    162 days ago
    Yep, individual servings would be easier to resist...
    162 days ago
    Wow, you are in a difficult situation. I wonder if they are homemade desserts if you can ask those doing the baking if they can make the dessert in individual serving sizes. I find it's better to just pullout 1 individual pie from the freezer rather than a whole pie that has 8-12 servings. Also perhaps you can purchase ice cream in the individual serving containers. This way there would be no temptation for taking a spoonful or 2 or even licking the spoon. Just a few thoughts.

    As always loved your jokes. Have a great day!
    162 days ago
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