jokes and poetry
Sunday, April 28, 2019
April is National Poetry Month. Do you enjoy reading or writing poetry? I find myself not reading much poetry But I do like some. What types do you like? Share a few poems that are meaningful to you
I like limerick.
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, "It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!"
Another poem I like is
Love and Friendship
Love is like the wild rose-briar,
Friendship like the holly-tree --
The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms
But which will bloom most contantly?
The wild-rose briar is sweet in the spring,
Its summer blossoms scent the air;
Yet wait till winter comes again
And who wil call the wild-briar fair?
Then scorn the silly rose-wreath now
And deck thee with the holly's sheen,
That when December blights thy brow
He may still leave thy garland green
The Purina Diet
A friend of mine has a huge Labrador Retriever. It eats a lot, and we went to the store to buy a large bag of dog food. We were in line to check out and a woman behind him asked if he had a dog.
The "what a moron!" look on my buddy's face was priceless, and I knew what it meant: he was going to toy with her. He told her that no, he was starting The Purina Diet again although he probably shouldn't -- he said he had ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50 pounds before he awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.
He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. He said that the food is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with his story, particularly a big tall guy who was behind the woman.
Horrified, she asked why he ended up in the hospital -- had the Purina made him sick? He told her no; he'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking his balls and a car hit him.
The woman turned fire-engine red, and I helped the tall guy up off the floor.
What Is The Proper Age To Get Married?
Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom
Bob walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sits down next to this blond at the bar and stares up at the TV. The 10:00 news was just coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building about to jump.
The blond looks at Bob and says, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Bob says, "You know, I bet he will."
The blond replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Bob placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blond placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blond was very upset and handed her $20 to Bob.
"Fair is fair," she says. "Here's your money."
Bob replies, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blond replies, "I saw that too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."