I'm going to be a little bit selfish...
Monday, March 25, 2019
It's only March and this has already been a tough year.
January 22nd my youngest, Aaron (then 17 months) had a seizure. He stopped breathing at one point, my husband gave him a rescue breath. Paramedics arrived. I went with my little guy while my husband called his mom and waited for her to come sit with the other kids so he could join us. By the time my husband got to the hospital they had medically paralyzed him, intubated him, and taken him for x-rays. They also had an order in to have him flown to Pittsburgh's Children's Hospital by Helicopter.
Again I went with him. My husband went home, to check on the kids, help them off to school and then drive the two hours from our house to the children's hospital (took the helicopter 35 minutes). Aaron had an MRI and EEG and a spinal tap. He spent one day in the PICU and another on the general floor. The only thing that ever came back out of the ordinary was a positive screening for Influenza A (i'm the only one in our house who didn't get the vaccine this year because my first time to the doctor they didn't have them yet, my next time they were out of them).
Final diagnosis: Febrile Seizure induced by quick change of temperature due to Flu infection.
February 10th He had another seizure. This time we had diazepam and he was coming out of the seizure by the time the paramedics arrived.
We see Children's Neurology April 11th...
During all of this I had to go have a cardiac x-ray because my EKG from my rotator cuff surgery in October of 18 indicated that I might have had a heart attack.
There is enough stress from my kids, I do not need to be worrying that something will happen and I won't be able to take care of them.
It starts TODAY!!!
I'm going to be a little bit selfish. I'm going to take time to exercise six days a week. I'm going to fight for my health like I would fight for my kid's health. I can't help them if I don't help me.
I'm going to be stubborn! I will not allow the doubters and the naysayers to get me down or derail me in anyway. This is about ME not THEM. I don't care what THEY think I can or can't do. I know I can and I know I will.
Today I created an exercise plan that mixes all my favorite activities, it's easily rearrangeable if my muscles hurt too bad or if something unexpected comes up, but it's also easy to follow so it won't become cumbersome or a deterrent to my goals.
It's not just my body that needs to be worked on for me to feel better. It is also my mind. I have ADHD Inattentive. I struggle with Prioritizing and self policing. I am speaking with my doctor Wednesday about changing my medication because I don't see the changes I use to see when I started what i'm on now. I see old patterns and habits and struggles.
And it's also my house. I love Marie Kondo. I think she's sweet and quirky, I've read her books and watched the Netiflix show. However my ADHD makes me struggle with her catagories. I have gotten through clothes, books (you can't tell by my bookshelves but I did donate 4 boxes of books), and Paper. I'm not on to the misc. and it is just too broad for my ADHD mind. I start with one category (like kitchen gadgets) but then I find something in the kitchen my husband didn't return to the bathroom and two hours later my gadgets are still all over the kitchen and my linen closet has been rearranged and my medicine cabinet relabeled.
I hope with new meds I can focus and get to a more minimalistic setting in my house (hard to do with three kids and a packrat husband but I'm trying).
I know my journey won't even be close to being over by this summer but I am hoping to have a good start on my weight loss and health journey as well as be finished with my home clean out by the time we travel to Louisiana this June to see my Dad.
I need to share what's in my head, and I'm hoping to do it here as I take this journey.