Failing Brings Things Into Perspective
Tuesday, January 08, 2019
Hi, my name is Elaine and I am an emotional eater.
I eat when I am happy. I eat when I am depressed. I eat when I am sad or lonely. I eat when I am angry or upset. I eat when I am stressed.
I first found that I was an emotional eater after having a miscarriage back in 1998. I started to pack on the pounds after the miscarriage. Then continued to pack on the pounds being so happy and in love with my now husband. The weight continued to pack on through the years. Three kids came and more weight packed on.
Then I started to exercise, like really exercise in 2008. I found a passion for running and loved to work out. The weight slowly came off as I went up and down the weight loss roaster coaster.
But then it clicked.... In 2014 I finally got into onederland. I vowed that I would never be back in the 200's again. In 2015 I was at my lowest weight that I could remember. I was feeling AWESOME! I got down to a size 10 jeans, was wearing smaller tops, and had an abundance of energy. I kept up this pace through 2016 feeling like I was wonder woman!
Then it hit in 2017, I started to trail off really bad after my husband got cancer. The emotional eating started back up and it got really out of control in 2018. Now today I find myself almost at the weight where I started in 2008.
I feel embarrassed... ashamed... not happy with myself at all...
Ending 2018 I was not in a good place with myself. So I made a promise to pick myself back up in 2019. I want to get back to how I was feeling and looking in 2015. It is going to take some time, but I have patience.
One thing I am doing is owning my failures and moving past them. You can't take back what you did in the past but you can control your future. I still have that girl inside of me. I am still fit despite my weight and size. I CAN and WILL get back to the best person I know I can be. I have done it before and I will do it again. I WILL get back into onederland and this time will stay there because I know what happens if I don't keep up the work.
Failing brings things into perspective. We need to fail to learn lessons. I am definitely learning!