It's not too late, as long as I'm breathing. A friend texted me today and told me that his mom passed away. I, unfortunately, know what that feels like. I lost my mom in January of this year. I miss her more than I can say. But, I know that she is with God. So, she's just fine.
I know that she wanted me to lose weight and to take care of myself, so did my spiritual mother. I try some days. But, other days I don't.
After the colonoscopy, I thought "Okay. Now, you have a chance to press the RESET button. You have a clean colon. Don't dirty it up or clutter it up, again. But, as soon as all of that gas was gone, I began eating what I should not eat. The Bible speaks of those who want to do right and do just the opposite. I know that God's mercy is everlasting. And, if I ask His forgiveness, He is faithful to forgive me.
I just want to turn that corner and do a new thing. I mean really commit to a new thing.
I know that as long as I have breath in my body, I can turn. I can do a new thing. I am praying for the strength to do so.
I can't blame the stress of the move. I can't blame the stress of my son's situation. I can't blame my daughter's anxious moments. I can't blame my grief. I can't blame the pettiness on my job. I just can't... not anymore.
It's not fair to me to keep doing this.
It's like a huge part of my life is in suspended animation. It's just on hold. I can't do.... I can't go.... I can't participate in....
It's ridiculous. I'm tired of it.
So, here I am one more time.
I am getting back on track. And, I am not going to cloak myself in shame and embarrassment. Those things are too heavy for me to carry.
Thank You, Jesus!!!
Praise Your Holy Name!!!!