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Day 3: Motivation

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Hey everyone

So some of you were asking about the depression workbook. I took a picture of it below. The past couple of nights I haven't opened it because well I just couldn't muster up the motivation to do anything else but lay in bed and watch a show to distract my thoughts. Many of my thoughts are negative, critical, and judgemental towards myself. I'm not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, I'm a failure, I won't ever be loved etc. I NEED to change this.

Yesterday and this morning were difficult for me. I have a really hard time wanting to get out of bed in the morning. Initially it's difficult because well...I'd rather just sleep lol. But, once I am awake I just stay in bed and fiddle around on my phone and don't want to face the world. Yesterday I even called in sick from work because I was just feeling way too low to want to be around people. I eventually got my day going and things got better but this morning it was the same situation. I struggled to get out of my bed because that is where I felt the safest and I wouldn't have to face the world. I had a meeting today on campus so that's what forced me to get my butt moving.

So last night I told myself that I would get up and go for a run this morning. That of course didn't happen. I think part of this has to do with me feeling like I'm going to fail at it. I hate that feeling, of being bad at something. I realize in order to become good at something I have to start somewhere but I have this mental block that I just need to bust through and get over this ridiculous thought process. Anyways I'm going to sleep in my workout clothes tonight and set my alarms to make sure I have as little that I need to do in the AM before going on my run.

As I mentioned, here is that workbook. I brought it on campus with me today so that during some moments I have breaks between classes and students, I can get through another chapter.



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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • GOLFGMA
    Praying that you find answers. Are you on medication? Keeping the book handy is a good step for finding some answers. emoticon
    727 days ago
  • CROUCHINGFLEA
    Thanks for sharing, I'm going to research the book and see what my therapist thinks. I'm with you on the hard days. Mornings aren't so as hard for me getting out of bed (military background, so I jump out of bed without thinking about it) but making it through the day after the kids leave for school is really difficult for me. Staying motivated all day, that's tricky.

    I wish you luck with your book and hope that it helps. emoticon
    727 days ago
  • WENDYHARPER45
    Have you talked to your doctor to make sure there isn't a physical cause for your feelings. Prayers for yourself
    728 days ago
  • CLO333
    Thank you for sharing. Sending you positive thoughts.🌻
    728 days ago
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