Restarting Along the Journey
Thursday, August 30, 2018
I was doing great from June 2017 thru April 2018 and attained a 37 pound loss. I was feeling good and proud of myself but I lost my focus and motivation and regained 20 pounds from May thru August 2018. I'm back on track and lost 4 1/2 pounds last week. It is hard to not beat up on myself for the relapse but I am trying to stay focused on the positive things I do for myself and working on my mental game. I know how to lose weight.... It's following through and doing those things consistently and persistently on an ongoing basis that is a problem for me.
This time I got derailed by good things happening in my life. I always thought of emotional eating as being something people do with unpleasant emotions. I didn't realize that I had been eating my positive feel good emotions as well. For me good feelings create more havoc in my wellness plan than the negative emotions. When I am down or experiencing negative stress I usually don't feel like eating at all and I look to walk to dissipate the emotions. I have difficulty recognizing and processing positive emotions due to a long history of abuse. I didn't realize until recently that I have been feeding my positive emotions with food.
I am proud of myself for recognizing and interrupting the cycle after a 20 pound gain and not my usual 50 pound gain. In the last weight-loss cycle I focused on daily food and nutrition behaviors rather than pounds lost. I will continue with that because I found it far less stressful than evaluating progress by pounds or inches lost. I read several articles recently about paying attention to what we are thinking when we are about to make a choice for an unhealthy behavior. I think the recommendations to pause and ask myself: What is the payoff for this behavior? Why is it important to me to do this RIGHT NOW? Is there a healthier way to get the same payoff RIGHT NOW? How will I feel if I follow through with this behavior RIGHT NOW? How will I feel AFTERWARD? The articles also suggested keeping in mind that I am making the choice. It is not the food or emotion making the choice.
I like this reasoning because it puts me in control and reminds me that I have the power to make good choices for myself. I am not the helpless victim of the cravings, food environment, weather, health issues..... Making the less healthy choice is okay too as long as I realize that it is me choosing and I am aware of the consequences of my decisions.