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jokes and salad recipe

Sunday, May 20, 2018

This is our assignment for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam:
May is National Salad Month. Post a couple of your favorite salad recipes or ones you’d like to try. I have trouble eating salad with my denture but
these are recipes I like.

Waldorf Salad Recipe
Prep time: 15 minutesYield: Serves 4
If using yogurt, omit the lemon juice. You may also want to add a little honey to balance the tartness of the yogurt.

6 Tbsp mayonnaise (or plain yogurt)
1 Tbsp lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon salt
Pinch of freshly ground black pepper
2 sweet apples, cored and chopped
1 cup red seedless grapes, sliced in half (or 1/4 cup of raisins)
1 cup celery, thinly sliced
1 cup chopped, slightly toasted walnuts


In a medium sized bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise (or yogurt), lemon juice, salt and pepper. Stir in the apple, celery, grapes, and walnuts. Serve on a bed of fresh lettuce.

Quick Ambrosia Fruit Salad Recipe


1 can (8-1/4 ounces) fruit cocktail, drained
1 can (8 ounces) unsweetened pineapple chunks, drained
1 cup green grapes
1 cup seedless red grapes
1 cup miniature marshmallows
1 medium banana, sliced
3/4 cup vanilla yogurt
1/2 cup sweetened shredded coconut


In a large bowl, combine all ingredients. Chill until serving. Yield: 6 servings.

Nutritional Facts

3/4 cup: 191 calories, 4g fat (3g saturated fat), 2mg cholesterol, 48mg sodium, 40g carbohydrate (34g sugars, 2g fiber), 3g protein.

A bet made at the local bar
A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender. The man walks up to the counter, and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 that I can spray beer from my mouth into a shot glass from thirty feet away, and not get any outside the glass."
The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $1,000, so he agrees. The bartender gets out a shot glass, paces off thirty feet, and the contest begins. The man sprays beer all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says, "Well, I guess you owe me $1,000, huh?"
The man answers, "Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $500 a piece that I could come in here and spray beer all over the bar."

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”
One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided
to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie.”
“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher,
“When I was your age, I didn’t even know what a lie was.”
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher

Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.
Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence
Why do bachelors like smart women? Opposites attract.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women
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