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100 days of OMAD: 22

Thursday, April 12, 2018

I posted on Facebook yesterday about my trip - mostly to praise that all the trains involved had been on time (it´s been a problem for the last fifteen years, bad maintenance and more people travelling) and immedeately got a comment : "What? Did you visit Malmö without having a lunch with me" and commanding a promise to hve dinner next time... it was long ago I stopped contacting friends just because I visit their home towns. I focus on the issue that motivated my trip and in this case it was viviting these new friends and that theatre... but this uncovered a future conflict – that most people assumes that a social meeting includes eating. And if I don´t handle food "normally" this will be an issue. I remember the same thing when I was giving up alcohol as I belonged to a "wining and dining"-culture. It was the "normal" way to meet to have dinner with wine.

It was not that hard to steer away from those dinners, I simply chose daytime connection and met people at exhibitions, museums, concerts etc instead of eating together. Nowadays I don´t have to stay away from "wining and dining" anymore and people have gotten used to me not drinking but it has changed my life.

OMAD has become an idea because my lifestyle as retired is kind of isolated. I go to the gym, I sing in a choir, I go to theater, movies and concerts but I hardly ever socialize with dinners. My trip to Malmö made me want more, I dreamily thought that as a retired I can spend some days now and then travelling to meet friends - and that will involve eating together. The trip I just made had the purpose to discuss diets so it was not a problem, but most of my firends aren´t compulsive overeaters...I will have to form a new strategy for this.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • OOLALA53
    I feel ya. I use a plan that allows for meals alone or socially, but my food tastes are different AND I find so many places way too noisy! So eating together isn't as easy as it once was.

    Can you have your OMAD at lunch on such visits? But I also agree that it would be good to have some variety to your activities with friends. Not easy to do! I wish my friends were more willing to help each other declutter (read that help ME! and I'm very willing to help them) or garden or even clean and THEN go do something fun. I've even said to a few. "What could we do that doesn't involve eating? Coffee breaks okay!" Didn't really get a lot of takers, but I gave up pretty easily while I was working. Haven't actually done a lot more while on leave!

    545 days ago
  • WHITE-2
    Ah, I see I misinterpreted what you wrote. Glad to hear that you appreciated that comment.
    549 days ago
    551 days ago
    Of course I have a right to do as I think - the problem is that it makes me "different" which means that I will have to handle comments on different levels - and I also have to fight my own feeling of being "difficult" when I don´t go with the flow.
    No, I did not find that comment disrespectful, I interpreted it as a humourusly way of saying that she likes to meet me. To a person with no food issue it is natural (at least in this country) that social meetings always includes foods or snacks. And she did not in fact write lunch, she wrote "fika" which is an unique swedish word meaning coffee, mostly with something more, like cookies, sandwiches or buns.
    551 days ago
  • WHITE-2
    PS I think the comment 'What?... etc.' was not respectful of you. It's someone who feels left out (all too) easily, they were thinking about themselves not you, not considering that you may have had good reason not to visit that person because of lack of time or energy.
    551 days ago
  • WHITE-2
    My thought is that you have a right to do as you think is best. So you can always meet people but refuse to have meals together. There are so many other ways indeed to have fun together. Why would you HAVE TO meet friends over lunch, dinner etcetera? If they are true friends they will accept that you don't do social meals...
    551 days ago
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