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jokes and "I am in Control Day."

Saturday, March 31, 2018

This is our assignment for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam:
March 30 is "I am in Control Day." Today is the day to get your life in control. It's your day to get things in order and under control. Is there something in your life you need to take control of? yes my diet Describe plans you will make to get any aspects of your life under more control.
I am working on eating 3 freggie a day . When I get that conquer I will
try for 4 freggie and then 5. I am also trying to watch the sodium in my food.
Also trying to eat complex carb, .

Doctor's Funnies

Doctor's stories-You can't make this stuff up. (Sometimes the truth is funnier than fiction!)
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly.
"Now your left." Again, a flawless read.
"Now both," I requested.
There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with BOTH his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?"
"It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly!"Exercise alone provides psychological and physical benefits.

Before Marriage:
He: Yes. At last, it was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
After Marriage:
Now read this from bottom to top.

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