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If they would only ask--

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Wednesday, March 07, 2018

"You cannot tell them how to live their life!"
That is what Himself said to me just a few minutes ago---
Of course, he was referring to our children---our grown children with families of their own--
You see, I feel, being older, and having experienced so much, that it is up to me, to steer these people in the right direction---

It is a good thing however, that their Dad sees life differently---
"You'd think they might come out and help us with the grass--" I find myself saying to Himself--
"They have their own family. Leave them be," he always replies---
It seems , Dads never allow thoughts to enter their heads like Mothers do -

I do remember hovering over my parents--calling my Mom, and asking for advice on this or that, almost every day----and--to me, she always knew the answer to everything--
That doesn't seem to happen anymore in this house---
Maybe it's the internet which has given these kids all the answers--
I know now however, that perhaps my Mother made up answers some of the time!

So life is not like it used to be. Dads accept this easier ----

I am trying to accept what Himself says----not allow it to bother me---

It helps to be strong----perhaps dance a wee bit more around the kitchen---and accept that we really should not worry too much about it all---I think!

But-----Moms really know how to do most things---
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    One day those "kids" will get the proverbial "clue" - hopefully it won't be *too late*........ emoticon
    685 days ago
    And then you reach the age where the kids are giving us advice!
    What goes around comes around!

    685 days ago
    LOL! I hear that!! And boys are certainly less inclined to ask Mom for ideas/advice, though my oldest does from time to time. My daughter used to, but now she's SO much smarter than I am! She has a doctorate and is a nurse practitioner, so I often go to her for medical advice. Oh, how we switch roles! Yet, I will go to webmd if I have a medical question, then ask her to confirm! Maybe I'm just as bad! It matters not, in truth. I just keep my mouth shut and listen to my DH complain about "why don't they...I don't agree with...." Yep, I don't have to agree, I just have to let them learn.
    685 days ago
  • DSJB9999
    Love that image but my dd still wouldn't believe it unless it was online. I now accept they have to 'learn' and 'make their own mistakes' ha ha! Hugs xxxx emoticon emoticon emoticon
    685 days ago
    For as long as I can remember, mothers have been made responsible for everything their kids do that is considered "wrong" or doesn't meet anybody else's standards. It's no wonder that mother's want to tell their kids how to do things "right." It takes away any criticism that might be directed at us. If you didn't have your everybody else to take care of, what would you do for yourself? It's never too late to find out who you really are AS YOURSELF. Obviously you are a fabulous person! You play the piano and write quite well. What else can you or would you do? Perhaps it's time to let yourself shine - on your own terms - and let your family members do likewise. Making mistakes is part of the process. Let them do it!
    685 days ago
    If their Mother won't tell them who will? That's what I always say.

    685 days ago
    Well, there is the difference twixt yourself and your mother, and your sons and their mother...
    Remember "Males are notorious for not asking for 'Direction(s)'"

    as to sons volunteering to help with some things that are getting to be too much for yourself...
    Well there is always the "direct" route by telling them that you NEED help. point blank and unvarnished.
    as "Males have a tendency not to see what is right before them"...
    just as other 'adults' sometimes forget to be aware and then follow through.

    Just a couple of thoughts.
    I know that telling my son what I want/need works a whole lot better than hoping he will notice all on his own.
    (He has his own life, too... just as 99.9% of most free adults)
    Just sayin'

    685 days ago
    emoticon I agree with Himself. We already did our jobs as mothers. Now is time for them to get punches and learn. Unless they willingly and directly ask for our opinion in something. Enjoy your life!
    685 days ago
    yeh i don't feel like adulting today
    685 days ago
  • no profile photo GREYTDOLPHIN
    I think that lives are so busy for everyone that there isn't enough time for the parents. What makes it nice once in a while is having them actually come out and say how much they actually care. We're in Florida now and my "kids" are in St Louis. One son actually put in an email "I'd take a bullet for you Mom". This past week when both were encountering problems, they both called.

    Problem---I'm a worrier. When I know stuff, I worry more. Maybe moms want it both ways--to think everything is going fine for their kids and to not know and then have to worry. It's one of life's mysteries.
    685 days ago
    I try to put a word of wisdom in every now and then, hoping it will lodge and take root sometime in the future, if not now. Isn't that just part of being a good mom? emoticon
    685 days ago
    Thank you for sharing
    685 days ago
    "You cannot tell them how to live their life!"
    685 days ago
    Absolutely! Everybody IS winging adulthood! (Including your kids and most of their generation is doing it quite well) Of course, as MOMS we have our opinions about EVERYTHING but....they are doing okay.

    685 days ago
    I know the feeling of having the kids go their own way. I try to let go, but it is hard.
    685 days ago
  • YMAW607
    I am off the Google generation but I still have about of the just ask Mom mentality. My brother even have me a mug that says, "I don't need Google, my mom knows everything.". I love that mug. It's so true. Google's results rarely work as well as mom's experiences.
    685 days ago
    Kids do their internet searches and I guess they don't trust us "old" folks to know anything. Oh well!
    685 days ago
    It is hard to let our children go and live their own lives. I try to not know what they are doing so don't worry about them so much. LOL Like you said, Mother does not best even when they don't want to hear what that is. I have to admit since the granddaughters are gown now, my daughters are learning that Mother's do know best and they are having to let their girls make their own mistakes.

    Have a super day.
    685 days ago
  • BJAEGER307
    It sure is hard for us to let them off of the apron strings isn't it? I know my adult son (but still my baby) lets me know when I've over stepped my boundaries. The greatest gift I can give him is not giving unasked for advice and to let him figure it out himself. It's been hard for me to do this, as I want life easy for him.

    I know that life will teach him, and he has to experience what life has to give. We did and we're here to talk about it. I totally agree with HIMSELF, it's hard to untie the apron strings.
    685 days ago
  • TWEDEE777
    My "kids" are the same way. Look everything up on the internet. Where do they think all that information came from?! 🤔🤔
    685 days ago
    My mom got so much smarter when I got older.

    It's a shame we don't find out earlier

    and of course everything is out there on the internet - so right

    emoticon for a great day!
    685 days ago
    I used to ask Mom for advice. Times are achangin'!
    685 days ago
    It's a very different generation.
    685 days ago
    I am with you. I think it is a decline of respect. I hope that you have a great day!
    685 days ago
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