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Need a Few Giggles!

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Hello, SparkFriends!

I know all these fitness and food challenges are good for me ... and I promise to keep pushing on toward the goal ... but some days I get frustrated with myself! So, I thought I would search for a few giggles to help me stay lighthearted and on track ...

"Check your shampoo bottle label. When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body and (duh!) printed very clearly on the shampoo label is.… this warning : FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY!! NO wonder I have been gaining weight! Well, I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start using Dawn dishwashing soap instead. The label reads : DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE. Problem solved!

"I just burned 2000 calories! That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap!"

"Lately I've been trying to touch my toes, which I don't find so complicated, but my knees just can't get it straight."

Philosophy - "If you didn't take a selfie at the gym, were you really there?"

"Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious."

"I always believed my body was a prison for me. I was right, in biology I learnt they were made of cells."

"I wanted to lose weight so I went to the paint store. I heard I could get thinner there."

"How do spacemen add more protein to their diet? They make it meteor."

"The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends."

"THE GARLIC DIET: You don't lose weight; you just look thinner from a distance."

"I gave up jogging for my health reasons. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire."

"It's called DIET because all the other 4-letter words were taken."

"I have been on a diet for 2 weeks. So far, I have lost 14 days."

"Dieter's Prayer - As I wake up from my sleep, I pray my diet I may keep, but if temptation makes me slip, I pray the Lord my pants won't rip!" - OK, seriously, this one is a little close to home for me - I decided I had to start this diet when I sat down on the couch with my kids a year+ ago and my pants ripped! I started to cry, but they were on the floor laughing their heads off. Now that I've lost 5 clothing sizes, I can laugh at myself, too!

Pun or advice?
"A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter."
"A lot of dieting is wishful shrinking."
"You don't gain weight by the minutes at the dinner table - but the seconds."
"Low carb diets really go against the grain."
"This diet is wearing me thin."
"Taste makes waist."
"I keep walking methodically back and forth. I have to learn to pace myself."

And to all you beautiful Sparkers ...

Hope this made you smile and push on a little more in your better health journey as it did to me!

I found these at several websites but if you want to find more try:

Diet Humor

and Fitness Humor
kout-jokes/?lp=true .

Do you have a diet, fitness, or health joke or pun to share?
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