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10 days in : not looking good

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

In November I was sitting thinking back over all that had happened in 2017 and I remember thinking if i can just get out of the Holidays I will be fine . The stress of the holiday season with finances, work, oh my god the weather and a sports injury was about all I could take . I did this with one thought a New year is coming and once we get out of the holiday season then everything will calm back down Well 10 days in and apparently my thought process was flawed . For me it is the after stress that gets me . When things happen I deal with by sucking them up inside and once I have fixed it all for everyone I deal with me and then the battle begins as the day calms and the emotions come stress eating is the battle so let me tell you right now at 4 am in the morning the stress has hit and all I can think is find a buffet through on my big girl sign and eat like there is no tomorrow . I know this wont happen in a few minutes I will dress and go to the gym and work up a sweat but right now it is all about the stress .

I can't even believe all that has happened in 2018 . I couldnt even write a drama that is this bad . On day one my weight was eight pounds , shake it off it was the eating off plan for those holiday .. I got that one . On day 2 to the gym where i dont even get through my first set when my husband calls he is broke down .. Weather issue dealing with water in a vehicle ( lets just be nice about it ) deal with this and get back home not even 630 in the morning . No sense in being mad New year New me . Make coffee phone rings Son Number 2 broke down another weather issue with water in vehicle . That coffee would have been good out the door get that taken care of ... him to work . back home and leave to take keys to tow truck for vehicle one . back home on the phone with the insurance company for vehicle 2 on hour 10 minutes later got that vehicle towed . back to get son from work . get home leave to take husband to his job 100 miles away and back . home in time to cook dinner for the masses .

spend three days trying to get vehicles repaired . finally 375 dollars later these are done . Take granddaughter to Chinese buffet for her birthday . Where i battle through a feel wanting to dive into the middle of the buffet and say get over it I am fat deal with it but I dont i just do what i always do . While at dinner I have a reaction to something and spend the next two days dealing with sneezing and itching . But hey look New me New year .

Saturday morning at the gym at 430 Son 1 in North Carolina dealing with of all things a Winter Hurricane calls and one of the propane bottles has a bent nozzle and he is with out propane till daylight and the sun is up . It is only 11 degrees and in my head i am trying to remain calm because i am in Mississippi but all I can think is he is cold . and omg that is heartbreaking . but it does work out fine . Get off work back on the road to make the 100 mile round trip to go get husband .

back to work on Sunday and people are grouchy on day one of the new year . but hey smile and deal with it .

Yesterday Day 9 dealt me the bigest blow of all . I slipped in the bathroom while toting a basket of laundry on some water from my drying after my shower . I worked 6 hours and then to the emergency room . My left achilles tendon is badly pulled . I am off work for a few days on crutches with a boot . Seriously . So I am having coffee thinking of a buffet . while i have already laid out my gym clothes . I will go do upper body .. then switch to another gym and do the arm bike and pool . Because if i dont i will not make it through without over eating . I have to feel strong and powerful i can do weak I just cant but right now IHOP kis looking good to me thankfully it is not in my path to either gym .

I just needed to get it all out of my head instead of dewealing on it . I needed to yell at people that dont have a dog in this race and take my weak moment and put it into words somewhere . thank you all for listening now to get dressed have a great day for me please . New Year New me .
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