Watch your language!!!
Thursday, November 02, 2017
What I was thinking about today is the idea of "I won't eat chocolate - NO candy today!" Mainly because it was Halloween this week and I have a friend who is not progressing as well due to eating chocolate. When our self-talk says "no candy" our brain visualizes the very thing we're trying to avoid - candy, adding the feeling of deprivation by including "no". It would be better to say, "today, I'm eating an apple for snack" or "today, I'm sticking to my food plan."
Before writing this, I checked to see if I'd already written a blog because it's not really a new concept to me, I just needed a reminder. Sure enough I had written one 10 years ago.
Moving my blog from September 30, 2007 here:
"In the book I'm reading on how to learn to concentrate, it talks about how we word our messages. When we tell ourselves NOT to do something, we are actually reinforcing the very thing we don't want to do. Our mind pictures concrete ideas. So when we say, I will go to the beach, our mind pictures the beach. When we say, I will NOT go to the beach, our mind still sees the word it can visualize, the beach. Instead, we need to say, I will go to the park - phrase things with the positive alternative to what you aren't going to do. Replace the picture of the negative action with a picture of the positive one.
Using that to look at my goals, "No eating after 7:30" - my brain is focusing on eating after 7:30 and the negative "no" only makes me feel deprived. I've reworded my goal to "all food will be eaten before 7:30". Now my focus is on what I can do, not what I can't do.
A friend has the goal of "no cheating" - yet every time she says that, she is reinforcing the idea of cheating and of feeling deprived. We've rephrased her goal to "I will stick to my plan completely" Then her focus is on sticking to her plan, not cheating.
It's the little things that can make all the difference!"
A side note that contributed to this line of thought. Earlier today I was reading tips teachers were posting on-line on how to handle disruptive children and one comment said watch how you phrase your reprimands. Instead of focusing on the disruptive behavior and telling them to stop, make your comments about what they should be doing, (keep reading, keep working on your project, listen...). That teacher found the children were more likely to refocus and change their behavior.