I Got a Personal Trainer!
Thursday, September 14, 2017
I signed up for the gym last week and included with my membership was a free health assessment with a personal trainer, I was able to look at the wall of trainers, read their Bio's and pick the one I wanted. I had the session scheduled for Monday of last week but when I got there the trainer wasn't there and I was told that I was never put on her schedule. Okay, I won't stress about this, I just did the elliptical and treadmill. The trainer texted me and told me that she would schedule me for yesterday at 530, sweet. When I got there I waited by the trainers stand looking for her and finally told another employee hey i'm supposed to have a session with so and so at 530. He goes looking for her and comes back with another girl. So and so had to go home but Stephanie is available and will meet with you.
This sort of stressed me out because I took my time picking the other girl. I have pretty traumatic memories of exercising in the Army and no matter how hard I tried it was never good enough. I was always yelled at and told I sucked, so now when I think about exercising I think what's the point, I'm never going to be good enough. Well I know that I shouldn't think that way and I'm working on trying to fix it but there's years of self doubt trained into my brain. So when I was given a new girl I was put off but went with it and met with her. I think the universe actually knew that she would be better for me than the other girl. She was so sweet and soft spoken and kind. I think I really need someone delicate to help me get out of my trauma. I just imagine meeting with someone and having them yell at me to try harder and me crying all over the place. This girl is a super cheerleader, telling me great job you can do it, you're doing great. Exactly what my delicate self needs!
So even though I wasn't planning on doing personal training I ended up buying a package to meet with her once a week. I try really hard not to allow people to sell me things or feel like I'm being scammed, so much to the point where I sometimes miss out on things that would actually be good for me. I know her job during that health assessment was to convince me to buy personal training but I actually think that I need it. I always think that I can do everything on my own and I'm sure that I can but I'm not doing it. I'm not motivated, I don't know what to do when I'm in the gym, I'm terrified of people judging me there and I tend to quit when I'm uncomfortable.
Last night during my free session, I felt great walking around the gym with her. I wasn't concerned if people were looking at me, I wasn't afraid because I didn't know how to use the machines and I did things I would have never thought of doing myself. I'm really excited about meeting with her on a weekly basis because she's giving me the motivation and accountability that I need right now. She gave me instructions on what to do each day until the next time we meet and also told me to text her my food journal at the end of the night so she can see how i'm eating. She said she really get's invested in the progress of her clients and that makes me really happy to have someone on my side looking out for me. Even though it's expensive and not sustainable long term I'm really going value these sessions to learn how to do exercises correctly, start to feel comfortable in the gym and gain the motivation that I've been desperately needing.
So long story short, I've finally accepted that it's ok to allow to be sold something that you didn't think you wanted if in the end it turns out to be something that will actually help you.
I'm very much looking forward to starting this new journey in my life and excited about the progress I know I'm going to be making in no time. I'm already sore, it's hard to walk and I am thankful for that because it means I'm doing what I need to be doing to get my health back!