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mind my own business when it comes to a sister!

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Thursday, September 07, 2017


I've FINALLY decided to stop worrying about my sister---
You know, I am a tad thick headed---
You see, my sister is on the brink----well, to put it pretty bluntly, she has about 2 mos at the most , on this earth--
so, of course, my heart bleeds for her----
I want to surround her with hugs, food and happiness---

This morning I called her -She lives quite far from here--
I said, "Hi sister, I just want to say hello"--
And she said, "I'm on my way to go out, so goodbye":--

And this is how it has gone over the years---
And I can't change it---
Now my Himself keeps telling me, to forget her--just carry on--that she has never had time for me---
How come he is so smart-?
----but- my heart just drips with kindness for her---I want to make her life so happy --like right now!

Lord love A Duck!--It's FINALLY getting in my head------like--LEAVE HER ALONE---She has to do her own thing--- that I can't help a person who refuses help--

And one more thing--the neighbour lady called yesterday and told me thaty Mama Bear was up in her apple tree, throwing apples down to her 2 little ones---
The neighbour asked me to get her husband who was down at their dock and tell him , so he wouldn't come up to their house and walk into Ms Bear and twin baby bears-
Now I could do this-----
I guess you have to pick and choose who to help eh?
Lord love a Duck!---life can be tough!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • IDICEM
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    821 days ago
  • LOSER05
    sorry Lynda emoticon

    822 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/11/2017 12:09:15 PM
  • REGILIEH
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    823 days ago
  • KILTORE
    All you can do is pray for her.
    824 days ago
  • TERRIJ7
    I'm so sorry that your sister doesn't respond to your kindness, but your Himself is right. There are, on the other hand, people who clearly want you in their lives and appreciate your lovely, helpful spirit. You definitely wouldn't want your neighbor to surprise the bear family during their apple fest!
    824 days ago
  • TWEETYKC00
    It is too bad you can't have a good relationship with your sister, but if she won't make any effort you can't help that. Stay safe with those bears around dear. Hugs.
    824 days ago
  • no profile photo ITSAPROCESS
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    824 days ago
  • MARGIEB221
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    824 days ago
  • KSNANA2
    You know your sister best. It sounds like she may have an abrupt personality. Call her if you want so you have no regrets later, but know she may be avoiding contact for some reason of her own. Cards and letters are nice too. I think it would be nice to get a letter remembering some childhood vacations and such. You will have to decide what works for you.Good luck.
    825 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    You called, she cut it short---you tried. Thinking of you trying to get to talk with your sister and she has an excuse to not talk. Really, she could have had a few minutes to spare if she wanted to talk. So know you did what you thought was right, she has the problem---the ball is in her court now, see if she calls back. My heart goes out to you Linda, you are the one who wants to line all the ducks up in a row---maybe she isn't ready.
    825 days ago
  • no profile photo LADY11614
    My brother and I are finally talking to one another after 50 years when he didn't have time for me. Sometimes I think my mother caused some of our problems, and she's been gone 20 years. We've found that we have a lot in common. Don't give up hope, but don't expect too much either.
    825 days ago
  • MBPP50
    I'm sorry about your sister. You can love someone all you can but they don't always reciprocate. I will pray for you both. emoticon
    825 days ago
  • AZMOMXTWO
    I am sorry that your sister is that way but it is her issue not yours you did the right thing to reach out and try but it is up to her

    you are a great neighbor

    have a wonderful time

    825 days ago
  • CARBMONSTERII
    You cannot be responsible for anyone else's actions, no matter how much you love them or want to affect them. You can only control your actions and your choices. Always stay true to what you know, deep in your heart, to be the way you need to be as a person you can be proud of. At the end of the day the old saw is true: you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him (or her) drink. As long as you have done, and been, and said, what you know to be right, you can sleep well at night. The rest of the universe is out of your hands.
    Glad the neighbor knows you are a good soul and will help protect her hubby from becoming "Bear Brunch"!
    825 days ago
  • SNOOPYLINKOS
    Love her from a distance, sometimes that's all we can do.
    825 days ago
  • ARTJAC
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    825 days ago
  • SUSANSKI
    Love it.

    I lost my sister to cancer. Sometimes I don't even FEEL it, because she was more of a Loner and didn't like 'crowds' so didn't comer around regularly until that last few years, and then that was only to my mom's house. So, though I miss her, and wish she hadn't suffered or had all the difficulties she's had in her life, my life hasn't changed that much. I wish it DID, because I would have preferred to have a closer relationship.
    Near her death, she had written personal notes to many many people. When I got mine, I was shocked to see that she had been believing some things about me that were simply not true and she was trying to give me some loving, sisterly advice. I was like...."What? Where did THAT come from?" And I felt so bad that she had some information mixed up and I could no longer correct her thinking. Things like...she thought I was turning my back on family (which was ironic because I used to be at all the family gatherings and SHE wasn't.), She thought I was spending more time with my church family than our own. Which wasn't true...I rarely did anything with my church, outside of Sunday, which didn't get out until 2pm. But in those years, my hubby had been having a nervous breakdown and severe back problems, thus financial problems and I had to focus on that. Then there were other family members who had some conflicting moments that we avoided a few times.
    But I was shocked that she interpreted that completely wrong. I was so bummed. And maybe a little angry (in case things were spoken of behind my back and got the wrong message going in the grapevine.)

    But ah me. What can you do, but go on, and live a better life and love better.
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    825 days ago
  • JANIEWWJD
    That's so hard and you have a heart of gold!!! Sometimes you just have to let go!!! May God bless you and bless your sister also.
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    825 days ago
  • DGRIFFITH51
    How unfortunate for your sister to turn from you instead of to you! I hope things can change in her heart and you two can have some good talks before it is to late. emoticon
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    825 days ago
  • NANHBH
    I'm so sorry about the reaction you got from your sister. Some people you just have to love from a distance.
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    825 days ago
  • SPEDED2
    Keep trying. Love conquers whatever she's feeling.
    825 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
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    825 days ago
  • MOEE45
    Lynda you tried and that is a beautiful thing to do, you can't do much more. Sadly our minds never think that way. Like the lady in one of the posts said she tried so hard to get her Mother to show love to her the Mother wouldn't, that is where I am now. My Mother needs a lot of help and I help her but it will never be good enough. so I do know how you feel ,it is hard just to let it go. I cannot turn my back on her she is quite up there in years and I am the only one left who will help her, but it's always my brother she wants he doesn't have much to do with her. So chin up and keep being who you are because you are a very nice caring person!
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    825 days ago
  • EISSA7
    My heart aches for you....you tried, that is all you can do. Please listen to Himself and carry on... emoticon
    825 days ago
  • GRANDP
    Family dynamics can be challenging. I'm glad you saved your neighbor from running into Mommy Bear! You can't help everyone but you can help someone and you did. Sleep Well, tomorrow is a new day.

    825 days ago
  • ANGIEN9
    I have 6 siblings. Our parents are deceased and even though nieces and nephews are having babies...not everyone is close. I have to Let It Go!!!
    825 days ago
  • EDWARDS1411
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    825 days ago
  • CAROLJ35
    Lynda, you must be honored by all these wonderful friends who have put so much thought in to your situation and wrote such informative replies.
    Put it in the Lord's hands as He never gives us more than we can handle - so we are told.
    And you and Tess better get your exercise in doors!
    825 days ago
  • SWEETMAGNOLIA2
    It's sad, but true. There's those who won't give you a chance to help no matter how much you try to reach out. I have someone in my family like that. For what it's worth, I've found they are more receptive to text messages than phone calls. You are a dutiful sister and good neighbor. (((Big Hug)))
    826 days ago
  • no profile photo JEANNETTE59
    It is time to concentrate on you Lynda. Spend time doing things that make you happy....play the piano, enjoy time with Beau, Tess and Sushi...think about your son's upcoming wedding...do something special with your Himself....be happy that the bear cubs aren't orphans and that Mama Bear is a good provider...and give thanks that your children are close to one another and to you and their dad.

    Your sister has chosen a path, so let go and let God. Maybe she will decide that she needs her sister and if she chooses not to want to talk, then that is her lose.

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    826 days ago
  • TERMITEMOM
    Lynda, it could be that your sister has so much on her mind she does not want to let anybody in at this time. Maybe she is afraid and does not want people to know she is fragile. Keep reaching out to her, because if you do not you will never forgive yourself... Perhaps sending her a note, an e mail? Just let her know you are thinking of her.
    826 days ago
  • TRISTAROSE
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    826 days ago
  • INFLATED
    Something came to mind and I will pass it along to you. There was a couple named Joey (woman) and Rory Feek. They were country music singers. Joey died from cervical cancer and was only 40 years old. They had a Down syndrome, daughter named Indiana. Joey refused to be around her as she neared the end of her life because she didn't want the little girl to have those memories of her as she was dying.

    I am not saying this is so with your sister. My mother told me that if she knew she was dying, she would send me out of the room or house so i wouldn't be there to witness her death, Because she was non-verbal and in a nursing home, I received the call about 11 AM that they thought she was going to die. At 7:15 PM, she died and I was with her during her final hours.

    I cannot say what your sister might be thinking, but perhaps this comment might be used to put it in a better light for you.

    What IMAVISION said is what I believe is of utmost importance. Sometimes I feel that perhaps some desire solitude so they don't have to listen to anyone concerned about their soul.

    You may be able to pen your feelings in a card or letter to her and put the ball back into her court. I feel that a person can only do so much and the rest has to be accomplished by prayer. I am sending hugs and prayers to you as you go through this.
    826 days ago
  • LIVINHEALTHY9
    That has to be tough knowing your sister has limited time. But, you have reached out to her and unfortunately, if she doesn't want to reach back there isn't much you can do. Just know you tried.


    826 days ago
  • LILLYROSEGRAM
    I understand how you want to wrap your sister in love as she faces the end of her life here on Earth. Unfortunately, she has chosen to do without such tender feelings for her. Such a shame! I hope you can get through the difficult moments to come!

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    826 days ago
  • GABY1948
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    826 days ago
  • MTN_KITTEN
    Maya Angelou said ... "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
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    826 days ago
  • ONEKIDSMOM
    You are just super-kind-hearted, Lynda, but your Himself has a good point... sometimes you just have to let it go! emoticon
    826 days ago
  • CRISDG
    We can only do so much and no more. Please do not make yourself ill with worrying. Continue to try and reach out knowing that you cannot control her response. Speak to her kids too and let them know that you care.
    826 days ago
  • CRISDG
    We can only do so much and no more. Please do not make yourself ill with worrying. Continue to try and reach out knowing that you cannot control her response. Speak to her kids too and let them know that you care.
    826 days ago
  • RAZZOOZLE
    Life is never boring with you. I can just picture that bear in the tree throwing apples. Thanks for sharing. emoticon
    826 days ago
  • JULIENSMITH
    Thinking of you & your sister.
    826 days ago
  • WATERMELLEN
    Yup, it's hard to reach out and be rebuffed -- but you can KEEP reaching out (maybe an email or a card proposing that SHE schedule a time for a call or a visit that's convenient to HER?) but with low expectations. Then: no regrets at the end.

    So cute that the mama bear was hurling down the apples!!
    826 days ago
  • SUSIEMT
    I guess I would agree with some that maybe just send a card with how you feel towards her in this last stage of her life. Express the love that you feel or think you should feel. Then when the time comes you will have no regrets!
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    826 days ago
  • IMAVISION
    I have been reading your wonderful blogs on a daily basis, Lynda, while not always taking time to leave a comment. I want to first mull over what you have shared before leaving a quick off-the-cuff reply. And, then, the inevitable happens = life on this side of the emoticon screen takes hold & I don't seem to get back in with my comments.

    I have been praying for your sister; first & foremost that she knows Christ Jesus as Lord Savior of her life. To die for the Christ follower is a wonderful experience of going from this "way less than perfect" earthly existence, into the very presence of our Creator God (Abba Father). However, for those who refused God's wonderful gift of salvation through His Son, Christ Jesus, (the absolutely only way to spend eternity in God's Holy presence) the encounter of passing from this life into eternity, is a completely different experience = the key truth here is that it is "for all eternity" = at that point there is no second chance to escape the decision one made/makes on this side of death.

    So, of course, my concern for all human beings, & especially heavy on my emoticon are those who have been given a time frame for their departure from planet Earth, is that they hear the good news of what Christ Jesus did for each of us on the cross & that in order to obtain the wonderful gift of salvation, one must willingly accept it. It is freely offered/given, but must be accepted by each individual = one of those things we cannot do for another, no matter how much we would like to do so on their behalf. However, we can pray, pray, pray for the softening of another's heart to hearing & accepting the most wonderful gift ever given. That is what I am praying for your sister, Lynda, & my cherished sister, too, = she has, yet, to accept that free gift of salvation through Christ Jesus. And, if your sister has already enjoyed the salvation experience, I pray that our Abba allow whatever time she has left on planet Earth to be fruitful & that her passing into her choice of eternal destination will be one of peace & joy for her and all those who love her.

    Along with your prayers for your sister, you could send cards &/or notes of encouragement to her. That way you put the choice of her reading (hearing) what you want to convey, or not doing so, into her hands = you have done what you can to reach out to her, while saving yourself the pain of rejection (as in this morning's reaching out to her & being coldly snubbed).

    While I get the jest of the statement, "Sometimes you have to do what's best for you & your life, not what's best for everyone else.", it leaves me with the question, "What makes any of us believe that we know what is best for anyone (everyone) else?" emoticon In my case, ninety-nine percent of the time, I have a hard enough time of it figuring out what is best for myself/my life, so don't even want to try to figure that out for another's life. emoticon Although, I am always willing to pray that they are given God's wisdom in figuring it all out for their own lives (just as I pray for myself in trying to figure "it" all out).

    God bless you with His wisdom, Lynda, as you possibly contemplate reaching out to your sister in ways that will benefit her & not have her reacting negatively!
    826 days ago
  • 75HEALTHYME
    Ah, sisters... my sister and I were never very close... our mother most always stayed between us. I guess she didn't want us to become friends and leave her out of the loop... But the last few years of my sisters life... we became real friends... I went to visit her for a week at her daughter's home after she had been diagnosed with cancer... and when she called and wanted me to come for another visit -Right Away- I got on the first plane I could catch and left NH and was in CA ASAP... I think my mom hated both of us, that hurt, but we found each other and that was good.
    my two-cents is this... if you want to reach out to your sister... then do it. Even if she doesn't reach back, that is okay too... at least you will know that you shared your love... maybe she is feeling guilty about something and that is what keeps her from being able to accept your hand of friendship.. or maybe she has been jealous of you for so long she doesn't know how to stop.
    But whether you reach out to her again or not... never stop praying for her and sending your love ... through your thoughts and prayers.

    I know... I probably should just keep my big mouth shut.. but I hate to see you hurting.
    Hugs, and Love, Audra
    826 days ago
  • HARROWJET
    Life CAN be tough. emoticon
    826 days ago
  • MCFITZ2
    Linda offering a kind word is never wasted. She may not appear to care that you did, but you have followed your heart. When the time comes you will know that you gave what you could. Much better than the I wish I had guilt.
    826 days ago
  • DSHONEYC
    Don't worry...continue to call you sister to say hello. While you won't change her attitude, you can still be the kind of person / sister you are "always wanting the best" for the people you care about.
    826 days ago
  • PATRICIA-CR
    Sincerely, good thinking. There's a saying here, 'we don't get to choose family, it is given'. You tried.

    That mama bear is scaring everybody away.
    826 days ago
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