Always have a plan B, C, D.......
Thursday, August 03, 2017
Well, I just got off the phone with my health insurance provider. I found out that there is no provision in our plan for bariatric surgery (which I really don't care) or weight loss programs of any type. I have the feeling this is going to make the weight loss program I was going to start financially impossible for me. OK - I shouldn't say financially impossible - but it would make it difficult and cause me to create some credit card debt which I do not want to do. I am going to the meeting on Saturday and going to get the actual numbers of what the plan would cost and keeping my fingers crossed that it is within my budget.
Enter Plan B - which is to join Weight Watchers. I always do well on Weight Watchers for a period of time but after about 60-90 days my progress slows, my interest wanes and I tell myself I don't need to go to meetings, I know what to do, I have the meal plans..... so I stop meetings .... and then I stop following the plan - because I KNOW what I need to do and I will do it later! Only to gain back all the weight I lost plus a few more.
So if Plan A doesn't work, I am implementing Plan B next week Tuesday (the first day of a noon meeting near where I work).
I must say I am disappointed. I really thought the medically supervised program would be a good fit for me. I am disappointed that our health provider doesn't support or encourage weight loss. You would think with all the medical conditions and complications that are related to obesity that they would take a more proactive approach, but that is not the case.
However, I am not giving up. I will go forward with my Plan B and try my best to do it differently this time! I have talked to the woman in my office who is doing the medical program and she completely understands and said the program is quite costly if insurance doesn't pick it up. She is willing to encourage me in my efforts.
I talked about it with a friend and she said something to me that caught me off guard - she said "Aren't you tired of this struggle? As long as I have known you, you have been struggling with your weight. Perhaps it is time to come to a point of acceptance that this is just the way you are." I wanted to cry.
Acceptance? I am struggling to find acceptance of my body - but acceptance of the fact that there is no hope for a change? Never.
So, feeling a bit down - but not giving up! One foot in front of the other. This is just a rocky stretch of the path..... it will pass if I chose to keep putting one foot in front of the other. If I just sit here, nothing will change. I sure wish these shaky first steps were more confident and steadfast!