Hard Truths About Myself - and I'm Okay with Them
Friday, July 21, 2017
I like ice cream - particularly peanut butter ice cream, preferably Turkey Hill, but only when it's on sale. Same goes for Butterscotch Krimpets and peel and eat fruit flavored licorice. And when they are on sale - I buy them, enjoy them (not all at once), and then I'm done (until there's another sale). I won't buy them all at once (even I can't afford all those calories at one time) - if I buy ice cream (on sale), then I won't buy Krimpets or the licorice (on sale). I still exercise and walk, but I also enjoy those treats. They may cost me a couple of pounds, but I know how to get rid of them once my "sweet treats" time is done. And I'm okay with that.
I don't like plain water - I've tried all the suggestions about adding fruit, vegetables, mint, lime, etc. They are all good but I prefer the no calorie, no sugar, fruit flavored (I know there's no fruit in there) sparkling water with a touch of crystal light (never the whole pack). And I'm okay with that.
I don't feel the need to have 3 squares and 2 snacks everyday because if I don't I won't get my Vitamin (pick a letter), calcium, magnesium, protein that I'm going to need to make sure everything in make functions as it should. I've decided to eat as well as I can earlier in the day so that I do get as much as I need. And if I decide that dinner today is watermelon, or PBJ, or cheese and crackers, it's because that's what I want. No explanations needed. And I'm okay with that too.
I stress too much when I have to make a decision - needlessly. And the decisions are never really hard decisions - usually choosing between this and that (not like I have a myriad of choices). For example, I've had my hair cut short and been natural for years. But I do like the natural look of some women that have the spirals, and up do's, etc. So for about 2 years, I went back and forth growing and cutting, then growing and cutting. Mostly because I liked the look on other women. Then I finally decided - wait, I love having my hair short and natural, why do I take myself through this just because it looked good on someone else. Decision made - no more growing my hair!! Away went the stress. Oh, but now, the decision is to whether to go silver. I've gone about as light as I can get without going silver (and I'm sure I can pull it off), and no matter how much my stylist colors my hair, the grey still shows up (it's so stubborn). Today may be that day. I'm closing my eyes while my stylist colors my hair and what will be will be. And I'm okay with that.
I read an article once that said there shouldn't be anything in your closet that you don't absolutely love to wear and makes you feel good about wearing it. Everything else should go. I've been looking in my closet and keep saying I have nothing to wear, and then depress myself because I feel like I'm wearing the same things over and over again. So earlier this summer, I was kicking myself because I didn't have any cute short sleeve or sleeveless shirts/tops to wear. And then I happen to open a drawer and yep, there they were. About 7 or 8 of them. I had put them away when the weather changed and forgot about them. What I should do is get rid of the ones in my closet that "don't make me happy" and hang these in the closet so that they are visible (after all, you can always put a jacket or cardigan over something sleeveless and still wear it all year). A couple of times, I did try to get rid of a few pieces in my closet that I haven't worn in a year or so, but then got the "I may need these" mentality and put them back in the closet (and still haven't worn them). Enough facilitating back and forth - they don't make me happy so they need to make someone else happy. That exchange may/should/will happen sooner than later. And here's the kicker - I can sew!! Not great, but well enough to be able to throw something together that I like and know I look good in. And I'm Okay with that.
I like exercising!! I like trying to see how many steps I can get in each day!! I like the competition among my Spark and Fitbit friends. But I'm also okay if I don't meet those goals each day/week/month because I know I need to take some time off from competing with myself every now and then and just enjoy myself without the need to always "stay in the zone". I never go more than a week without competing with myself to stay healthy, but I've stopped beating myself up if I don't make my goals. I'll probably be a Sparker for life - it's not what I do, it's who I am. First thing in the morning, I read my Jesus Calling devotion for the day, I read my Bible reading for the day, and I check into SparkPeople (still need to calm myself down when I miss a day and have to start my streak over!!). I can't let those I love who don't feel the same way about exercising deter me from what I need to do for me. I'm a big girl and I can exercise by myself if need be (sometimes I prefer it). And I'm okay with that.
I'm 61, and a GMom, and having a cotton-picking good time in life. Now I'm going back to work while I'm enjoying my sliced apples and peanut butter for breakfast. (And I'm okay with that too!!)
Have a great day!!!