Slow progress, but still moving forward
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
It has been almost a month since my last post. Does that sound like the start of a confession, cuz I'm not Catholic, but that does sound a little familiar from tv shows. I am making steady progress in my goals but not without some struggles.
The good news is that I'm under 300 pounds, which has not happened in a couple years. As of this morning, I've lost 37 pounds. I'm working with a nutritionist. I have mixed feelings on that decision. She is trying to help me heal my gut, but I'm not convinced it is working, and the program she does is crazy expensive. But I'm still following the plan. Lots of cold pressed green juices, intermittent fasting which is hard with my work schedule, and lots of very easy to digest foods. I hate the juices, but am dealing with it. Some days I feel better and other times I feel bad again. I'm still nervous about what reaction I will have to different foods. It is so time consuming, stressful and there is no way to know that something will work.
On top of the food stuff, I am struggling at work. I feel like I have a lot of people telling me what to do and none of the staff who should be listening are listening. I cannot depend on my boss completely because she is so busy and it is just hard every day. I need to get back to the basics and find my motivation again. I feel like I cannot make anyone happy and I am on the "outs" a little which is not a comfortable place for me. But I also do not feel supported in making changes, so I am stuck.
On the positive side, I am wearing a pair of pants that I have not been able to wear in months. I bought these pants for work last fall. You know how it works...walk into the store, buy the same pants and the same size as the last time you were there. Somehow the old pants fit and these did not. But today I am wearing them proudly. And my colleagues are starting to notice more and make comments. I am terrible at taking compliments but I also can't say "oh it's no big deal" cuz it is a big deal.
I also got talked into doing some online dating from a friend. She does not understand how bad my confidence and self-image is but I do appreciate her encouragement. I really need to take things less personally and get out of my comfort zone to make some new friends. But it is SO hard! I am making baby steps though. Just signing up for the online dating was a huge step and even if nothing comes of it, I will still have learned a little about myself. At the same time, it is super heart breaking how shallow guys can be...sorry guys!
Enough about me. To recap, I am focused on food right now. My only "cheat" was a small popcorn at the movies and I did not add butter to it. Three weeks without any major stress eating. Success in my book. This week I am going to visit a neighborhood park to walk, be a little less hard on myself and take my problems one day at a time. That's fair right?