Monday, April 24, 2017
Not sure how to describe it. Since putting in our applications to change trucking companies for dh and for me to train to drive I've had trouble yawning. I know it sounds weird but it is what it is. A google search said its anxiety but I'm not sure.
I'm excited at the new opportunities this will open up for us but with dh being my over the road trainer I'm not sure how that will affect our marriage.
I'm doing this because it interests me and has for years but I'm also doing it because I want an actual place to go home to vs staying in the truck or using a guest apartment at my dms apartment building. I want a place to let down my hair and just relax. With all he pays in child support its not possible. So team driving it is so we can do things we dream of.
Helping kids and veterans
I'm scared I won't be able to handle it. Scared I'll get to nervous backing up and have am accident. Scared I'll hit someone. I know its normal but none the less its there.
I'm worried about training because dh thinks that I should just be able to rattle off info as easily as I breathe and I can't. Why? Because its just info in my head that in the passenger seat I have no reason to know or think about. Plus I think to a degree because he knows so much my brain is relying on his knowledge to save our butts if there's a problem.
Ugh!!!!! I know I can do this. I will not give into the emotional eating demons that will cost me my progress. I will not respond to fear in anger or by yelling.
You can do this