What is success? My challenge
Friday, February 10, 2017
The question was raised in one of my Spark Teams "What does success mean to you?"
Now, there was a time when I would say "reaching my goal weight" but today is not that day. I have been attempting to reach my goal weight for years. If my definition of success was reaching my goal weight - so far I have led a very unsuccessful life! What a depressing thought.
Reality check time. Today, I define success differently. A successful day is one where I can go to bed at night, place my head on my pillow and feel peace. No regrets. No guilt. No shame. No "I wish I did that differently" or "I should have..."
I must say, most of my days are like that now. Yippee!
Notice I said MOST of my days..... I have those times I toss and turn on that pillow and the choir is singing away in my head with a whole litany of things I could have done, or could have done better, differently, or not done at all.
I have learned to quickly make peace with those things. If it was something I didn't do that I felt I should have, when my feet hit the floor in the morning I usually have the opportunity to do that thing - and NOT procrastinate about it. If I did my best and it wasn't perfect - I really couldn't have done any better- so let it go and be kind to yourself Barb! If I made a poor choice - I became aware that it was a poor choice and I can try my best not to make the same poor choice again. If I did something I shouldn't have - I can't change that. I need to accept it, and when faced with the same situation - do it differently.
For me the hardest thing is to be patient, kind, gentle and forgiving with myself. Sometimes I expect things of myself that are unrealistic. Lifetime journeys are just that. You don't get there overnight. The gifts are in the journey. The challenge is to find them!
Yesterday in my blog I talked about my 50 reasons to lose the weight. The last little section of my declaration was how this goal would challenge me. I said to eat healthy and exercise. Those are the basics. Those are REQUIREMENTS to reach my goal - but there is so much more.
1. This goal will challenge me to change my whole lifestyle!
2. It will challenge me to be realistic - yes it IS realistic to reach my goal weight - but it is NOT realistic to be there by summer!
3. It will challenge me to be honest - especially on my trackers.
4. It will challenge me to be patient with myself. Note to self, you are not perfect and never will be. Accept it!
5. It will challenge me to try new things.
6. It will challenge me to keep an open mind and not fall into that trap of "this will never work for me".
7. It will challenge me to have courage - so when I fall (which I will) I can get myself back up on my feet and start putting one in front of the other again and if I find I can't get back up to shout out for HELP!
8. It will challenge me to make gradual changes. One doesn't go from a diet of donuts, cookies, chips, soda and pizza to eating clean overnight. Small steady steps forward.
9. It will challenge me to be uncomfortable. Being honest can be uncomfortable. Posting a weight gain can be uncomfortable. Tracking 6 slices of pizza for dinner can be uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is not fun, but is a part of life. It is much better than sneaking and hiding.
10. It will challenge me to let go of guilt. Guilt really serves no purpose - ever. Eating should not invoke guilt! But guilt and I go way back - to my childhood. I really don't like guilt, but I keep it hanging around. I don't like to think I keep it around to punish myself - but I must admit - I do. If I make food choices that take me off track - I most certainly am bad - and with that admission come an extra large dose of guilt and shame.
11. It will challenge me to move and exercise regularly.
12. It will challenge me to not use exercise as a punishment for overeating. Exercise should never be a punishment!
Yikes - most of that does not sound like fun stuff! However, all I have to do is look at that list of 50 reasons and I know the discomfort is worth it.
We all have our challenges on this journey! What are yours?
My challenge to myself is to find a reason each day is a successful day! Yep, it's time to drop all that weighty baggage and live free baby!