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Uncomfortable spots and procrastination

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Ever procrastinate? Well 15 years ago at Christmas, I didn't call my sister to make plans for the holiday. The holiday was the only time we got together during the year. We are not close. She lives about an hours drive from my house. She is 14 years older than me. she moved out of the house when I was 5. Sometimes I feel like she is a stranger and I know some strangers better than my own sister. I hate that.

So that one year I didn't make the call and neither did she. The next year, I didn't make the call and neither did she. The third year I thought about making the call but felt a little crappy because I didn't call the two prior years so I didn't call, neither did she. The fourth year I was angry that she didn't place the call and I wasn't going to do it either. The fifth year I didn't even really think much about it, it had become somewhat normal not to see or hear from her. The years kept slipping by. Sometimes I wondered if she was angry with me, sometimes I was angry with me.

Then came facebook. My nieces and nephews had facebook accounts and sent friend requests. I learned my one niece had divorced and remarried, my other niece had four children that I had never met, my nephew had moved to upstate New York, my other nephew lived in my home town, mere miles from my house. Who knew! We actually started getting reacquainted on facebook!

I'd see the posts of my nieces and sister on their annual fall color tour trip to wine country, touring the wineries. I wished my daughter and I were invited, it looked fun! There were photos of birthday parties, holidays.....still, I never picked up the phone.

Neither of us are getting any younger. This past couple years I have lost some dear friends. I decided it was time to take action. I didn't want to have regrets later that I was too afraid to pick up the phone. I really WANT to get to know my sister, even if we didn't grow up together and don't have that connection most sister's have.

This year, my sister was turning 74. I knew her kids would celebrate her birthday - so I texted my niece and invited myself. Funny, but they were excited about the idea. My daughter followed my lead and invited herself too! They asked her to bring her family with her - they had never met her children! It had been 15 years. 15 years of procrastination, 15 years of wondering all ended with a simple text.

So we met at a restaurant nearby and I knew I was going to have a hard time staying on track there - but I went regardless. We had a wonderful time. It was good to reconnect and see each other in person. We caught up on the last 15 years, laughed much and vowed that we would do better in the communication department! Afterwards I came home and did my best to track my meal on the tracker. Not the best choices, not the worst either, but no regrets! After we went to her house for cake and ice cream.

Sometimes you just have to suck it up, put aside your pride and fear, and put one foot in front of the other!

Here are our combined families, missing my nephew in upstate New York.

and my sis blowing out the candles....

and one of the two of us!

I hate photos. I try to hide behind people. I don't like the way I look. I don't like that I am twice the size of my sister! However, I am learning to put all that aside and appreciate things as they are. I love that the two of us were given an opportunity to do things differently!

That said, now I have steps to take on another journey! No more procrastination!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    What a beautiful story with a big happy ending. Continued success in your weight journey, your family connecting and taking more pictures. (That is a lesson I need to learn also. emoticon emoticon )
    1605 days ago
    emoticon I'm so glad it worked out well for all of you!!!!!!!!!!
    1608 days ago
  • BLUEJAY1969
    It's wonderful that your sister reached back when you went to see her! My sister is 20 years older than I am and every time I reached out, I got my hand slapped. I tried from the time I was 16 and I tried for 20 years. I finally had to give up for the sake of my feelings. I tried with all of my siblings who are all older than I am and got the same result. I had one brother who I WAS close to and we lost him when I was 18. I have lost 2 other brothers since then and the very sad part is that I didn't know them enough to even miss them. (There were 8 of us all told.) So the moral of the story here is I am very happy for you that you got to know your family again and that your sis was happy to see you! I hope you continue to communicate with each other regularly!
    1609 days ago
  • no profile photo CD17462428
    By taking that first step you changed the entire family dynamic for the better!
    You have super powers!

    1609 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11945874
    Looks like this was a Win-win for all of you! .... Glad you rekindled the flame and will never have
    to wonder or have regrets later. ...
    1609 days ago
    Oh, this is so reminiscent of our weird, wonderful family! In it are several procrastinators, but I am undoubtedly the worst. I know it's a (lack of) self esteem issue: What if they don't care? What if I don't know what to say. But your smiling faces speak loudly, and make me determined to pick up the phone. I'll bet the outcome brought the stress level down, and we know that has good effects on our appetites,energy, and motivation. (I think I'm talking to myself here! But please know I wish you continued success, both in health and family relations.) So glad I came across this blog. It spoke volumes! Blessings, Lynn emoticon
    1609 days ago
  • L*I*T*A*
    emoticon emoticon
    1610 days ago
    You look beautiful.... glad you were able to reconnect. truly awesome and enlightening post.
    1611 days ago
    Good for you, Barb. emoticon
    1611 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10852900
    1611 days ago
    That is wonderful that you took the initiative and went. Awesome.

    1612 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13423552
    Wow, how awesome that you got together. So glad you took the step on social media and invited yourself. We all know how quickly time goes by and that we lose people along the way. I can see how one year can turn into two, then three and then it just becomes easier not to call. Now you have more family, how wonderful and how great for your daughter and grand-kids too! You also taught your family a great lesson, be the bigger person and make the first step. Years from now you'll be glad you have those pictures.

    1612 days ago
  • LSIG14
    I am so glad you were able to reconnect - the sense of family is too precious to lose. I understand how you feel about pictures - I always tried to stand in the very back row in family photos, but I have learned that most of my family don't even look at me, they just hug me tight!! I hope you are able to continue this connection and then you can look at pictures from year to year to see how much you've changed! Love and hugs!!
    1612 days ago
    But you look so beautiful. Glad you two got reunited. Wish you both the best.
    1612 days ago
    Nice, I wish both of the sisters well.
    1612 days ago
    What a lovely story! How wonderfull that your families were able to spend time together!
    1612 days ago
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