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Tough Times Lead to Renewed Determination

Monday, January 23, 2017

Having lost my mom on December 23rd, I am more determined than ever to lose this weight!

Every time I spoke to my mother in the past few years, she always worried about my weight. I worried that she had lost so much weight so fast and wouldn't quit smoking. She went from about 135lbs in 2007 to under 95lbs in 2008. Her wrists were only about 4 inches in diameter at the end. She also developed debilitating pain in her back which eventually spread throughout her body. She walked in baby steps and was completely bent over at the waist by the end, unable to straighten.

She never did quit smoking and the doctors never did figure out the cause of her weight loss and constant pain (they called it fibromyalgia), but I will honor her wishes and do my best to drop to 200 lbs (-63.4) by the first anniversary of her death. Then, knowing I CAN do this, drop to 140 (-60) by the 2nd anniversary.

I also struggle with severe back pain, which has spread into my neck, arms, legs, and feet. The doctors tell me I have bone spurs and arthritis on both feet and in my lower back and blame it all on my weight, which I am sure contributes to the problem. I also have a spot on my right lung which has yet to be analyzed thoroughly, a cyst on my ovary (same scenario), and about 20 small fibroids in my uterus (again, no real testing done). I have had unexplained stomach pain for over a year and pain in my right knee where I fell on it over 2 years ago. I'm told they can't find anything wrong with the knee, but I cannot get on my hands and knees to do exercises because of excrutiating pain in it since the fall.

I fear that I am following in my mother's footsteps, but have already taken one important step that she did not. I quit smoking almost 8 years ago.

I also have another advantage. I don't let my husband dictate what I eat, drink, and do. My mother always let her husbands rule her every move. I can and will do my own thing when necessary.

My husband still eats a lot of processed, fatty foods and white breads/rolls in spite of having heart disease and type 2 diabetes. I only indulge once in a great while. He dropped his gym membership while I kept mine. I just need to use it more. When we go out for date night, I choose grilled chicken or fish for my entrée with veggies and box half of it to take home for lunch the next day. He often chooses carb-heavy dishes and eats the whole thing.

I have embraced the "you can only change yourself" mentality and have given up trying to get the men in my house to improve themselves. Maybe my transformation will convince them where my words have not. But, I have to transform myself first.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KIWIANN
    Being an example of good health for the men in your life, and honoring your mother's memory are great motivators. Keep making healthy choices for yourself and you will reach your goals! emoticon
    1291 days ago
  • DANCINCAJUN1
    You have a super great attitude ... yes, do it for YOU ... you have attainable goals. I feel your pain as I also lost a dear one ... Sending sincere thoughts your way that you are going to be a success story ... rocie
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1291 days ago
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