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What's love got to do with it?

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Apparently a lot. Lots more than I gave credit to.

My husband is my rock, best friend, partner, cheerleader... I could go on and on. He is without a doubt, the most positive person I've ever been around. When I ask how things (projects, work) are going, the response 99% of the time is "Wonderful!". He calls as he leaves work to see if he needs to pick up anything and when I ask how he is then, he says "Amazing! On my way home to the most amazing woman in the world!"
(No joke, he REALLY does say that!)

He has continued to tell me how much he loves me, how proud he is of me and so much more. He tells me I'm beautiful. And he believes all of it.

The thing is, I stopped believing it. I stopped believing in myself. So I stopped caring about myself. I mentally and physically let myself go. I immersed myself in the muck and mire of negativity and have packed on the pounds.

I stay busy with work, volunteer activities and general busyness, but it's just busyness most of the time. I'd like to think what I do matters, he says it does, but if I were gone, wouldn't someone take up the torch and carry on? For most of it, the answer is yes.

I struggle with depression and dealing with medical issues, but in some ways doesn't everyone? You can't be Suzy Sunshine all the time. I can't lean on that crutch any longer if I want to heal, mentally and physically. I'm on meds, take them faithfully, but meds only you get you so far if you don't believe in yourself.

So, after all that, after taking care of me through two (so far) surgeries and continuing to work, he still believes in me. He believes that I am going to be much better after the next two surgeries. I am going to start anew. I probably will backslide, but as long as he's here to push, prod and encourage me, I'll be fine. Most of all because he loves me. And because I'm starting to believe again. Love has a LOT to do with it!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD1389378
    emoticon Beautiful - what you wrote, your marriage, your best friend and life partner, and you. So very beautiful, beautiful soul, beautiful hearts, beautiful outer packaging. I'm glad to have met you, even if only through the net. Keep on, keeping on, my friend.
    1602 days ago
    What a beautiful blog. Yes, we all deal with so many challenges. I think you have hot many nails on the head though. It is so important to have love and support. But we must also believe. I do believe in you 100%. You are a beautiful person and great caring friend. We are here for you. Ian grateful to have you as a friend.
    1602 days ago
    What a lovely blog ,we all believe in you Wendy you are awesome ! emoticon
    1602 days ago
    I always said your Hubby is a sweetheart. Never give up on yourself. You ARE important. To us,to your Hubby, your friends. Just keep that in mind! emoticon
    1603 days ago
    emoticon emoticon You have a wonderful hubby Wendy, so happy for you and you so deserve it. I think you are pretty wonderful too.
    You know it is pretty easy to get negative as we age and are in pain. We sure can't be suzy sunshine everyday, not possible, but your hubby has the right idea. Stay positive and say positive things and you will start to feel it. There is some quote and I can't remember exactly, but if you smile when you are sad you will start to feel happy. I tired this and it does work, especially when people were smiling back at me :)(Silly I know)
    Keep believing my friend. many emoticon to you and emoticon to your wonderful hubby.

    1603 days ago
    You have an amazing wonderful thoughtful and loving husband!!! They r hard to come by Wendy!! I am sure u r just as thightful and loving to him as he us to u!!have a great weekend Wendy!
    1603 days ago
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