For those of you who do believe in the positive effects of prayers (any kind of prayers, and no matter who you pray to), please include me in your daily prayers. I am quite desperately in need right now. I have suffered from S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) for as long as I can remember, but until last year I just allowed myself to give into my need for sleep, up to 18 hrs a day, as in hibernation for 4 months a year (November thru February mostly).
Last year it lasted almost 9 months, so I got a referral for a mental health specialist and a therapist, with pretty positive results. From Mid-May through August I lost more than 50 lbs and I felt great about myself. Then the monster struck again. And the more effort I put into resisting and keep sticking to my diet and exercise, even with daily meditation for both relaxation and positive self-image, the worse my symptoms got.
Right now I have extremely bad terror dreams with extreme physiological responses, comparable to PTSD. No horror or violence, but extreme emotional terrors with continual criticism, mockery, rejection, losing my way, losing people around me, not knowing where I am, not knowing who I am with. The people in my dreams all know me (all about me - or so it seems) but I have no clue how I am supposed to know them, from where or what. And I wake up with a full blown panic attack, with high fever, soaked to the skin, with severe migraines, loss of balance, shaking, not being able to hold on to anything (dropping what I try to grasp), and not knowing where I am and what is reality and what is remaining from the terror dreams. I even dreamt my mother (who died in 2003) told everybody she was going to kill me if they did not stop her. That did make me wake up crying hysterically. Other than during and right after those dreams, I do not feel like crying or dying. I am not suicidal.
Palpitations and irregular heart beat (not fast but very hard pounding in my chest, head and ears/temples).
I had an ECG and my heart is healthy, so no problem there. And with meds my BP is no longer above 160 systolic over 100 diastolic.
I wake up with migraines with hyper-sensitivity to light, sound, smell. Trouble breathing in as if an elephant sits on my chest.
Nausea and dizziness, feeling as if the walls are going to fall on top of me. Feeling like ready to faint.
I am confused, frustrated and aggravated.
It feels like I am losing my mind, as if I am losing myself.
I saw the therapist earlier this week, and he really helps me through the day. But he is not there when I wake up with a night terror.
I can no longer sleep at night, then sleep away most of the day.
I am trying to research online what might cause the physiological effects.
The doctor explained before the effects of an imbalance of brain chemicals on your mind and your mood, but at the time I did not have all these symptoms I have right now. Actually I never ever had this kind of symptoms before in my life.
I am seeing the doctor again on the 1st of November and the therapist on the 15th.