10-14-2016 A Year in Review and Plans for the Future!
Friday, October 14, 2016
Once again it has been too long since I last blogged. I actually planned to do this on the 8th it was my bday thought it was a fitting day to write about this last year, but well I didnt do it. It does seem that I am having trouble focusing on a number of projects that I really need to get done. So today is the day I am working on this one.
This last year has been first of all going by quite fast and has a lot going on and really I need to lay it all out to see just what is going on. So let me start by going back to this time last year. I had finally decided and scheduled my tummy tuck. It was a big decision but it was a lot more than that too it has changed me in many ways I did not foresee. Part of me thought I would just be different not just physically but mentally I would just me that skinny person...LOL I mean living with rose colored glasses but that is how I felt. So work hard until surgery the 14th of Jan 2016 got my weight down to 145 very close to my goal. Had the surgery and they removed over 5# of skin and tissue!!! Only complication was that I passed out and had to return to the hospital for an overnight stay, UGH! But after that is was just dealing with the tubes and binder I had to wear for the better part of 6 weeks and then I was able to get back to normal clothes and in a little more time back to exercising. Weight well yes I did gain some but once I could exercise worked to get that off and did pretty well once we got back for trip in March. But here is the thing after the surgery I was pretty shocked at the results no not bad but very good but also totally unexpected. I mean I looked so different but was still me inside. I mean by that the fat me inside. I did take a cool class for 8 weeks, Stress Management. I learned so much about me and really that I could be my own worst enemy and had to make some changes to stop being so stressed and that helped me to see myself in a clearer light. I am still at times that 'fat person' but more times I see me as I look not as I feel. I am so glad I did have the surgery and although the changes were dramatic for me, it was the best decision for me too. With this class I also realized that my goal might have been a little unrealistic or just more than I needed to work at for the immediate future. What I really needed was to live with this body for a while and learn to just relax and enjoy. So I made the decision that come July I would talk with Jenny coach and begin maintenance, it was time. I had also in this time frame been working a little more at Curves and since we had planned a big trip for Nov 2017 was going to do it and put the money away for that trip, fun money.
Come July we had Aaron coming for 2 weeks on his way to his next station at Pt. Mugu CA and I was so happy with seeing him and that he got a CA station. On the weekend before the 4th we got the backyard all ready for summer planned a nice BBQ and we did just that. On Tuesday the 5th I was in the hospital with a partially blocked bowel, but we didnt know that then, we thought it might be a full blockage and that would mean surgery and I was scared. Before that happened I got up and was not well tried to eat a little and that was not good got so bad I thought I would pass out we had to call the 911!!! I thought for a little bit it might be my heart I mean I was shaking and well just bad, thankfully when the fire dept arrived they checked and that was not the problem and I did feel better. At the hospital my hernia was ruled out but what was the problem. I was given a nasal gastric tube and that was horrid. 10 days later I was home not fully recovered but on the way. It was scary the whole time and I was scared to leave too. I just didnt want to go through that again and still dont. In the end they think it was scar tissue due to all the abdominal surgeries and it could happen again, it is nothing to do with my diet or exercise as a matter of fact nothing to do with me. It is just the result of having too many surgeries. On this hospital stay I lost 6 lbs but of course that was false I was not eating at all for 8 days. Once I got home it was hard to eat mostly due to the soreness after the ng tube and I was just wasnt hungry but I did eat and of course gained weight about 10 lbs and then worked again to get off the extra, and it did stop the beginning of maintenance. I was ready to start the beginning of Sept but well my Jenny coach was not there most of the time, but finally I thought everything was ready and he quit.....I mean well things happen but it really had me stimmed. Finally got a nice lady at Jenny to help me, get this program going and things are working but it’s not that simple either. To eat a little more and not gain you might need to add exercise and that is one thing I was hoping to do. I already do 60-90 minutes about 6 days a week. So what to do? Right now I have added 100-150 extra calories 3 days a week and added to protein and tried to keep it level the whole week. I did ok the first week and week 2 I gained a little. I mean I could tell I was getting a little too loose on things. Last week was the worst I was just I don’t know exactly but well stressed and I ate more than I should have and of course gained. So this week I am back to basics in the calories and lowered the protein a little, trying to get back into control of my eating and figuring out why I am so stressed. Partly that is why I am working on this blog to write it all out and see if it comes to me.
So in the last couple weeks what has been different the biggest thing is the curves I have gone to since Dec 2011 is closing in early Nov. I have worked off and on there for a couple years and in the last 3-4 months more on than off, I am there right now. I like working here it’s not too many hours and mostly I enjoy being with the different ladies. I really have enjoyed their company as we work out and sharing this part of our lives, it makes me smile, I didnt think when I started here I would ever feel this comfortable but I do. I am going to miss it greatly. Some are going to the owners other curves which is staying open, some are going to other curves closer to their homes and some are going to different gyms. For me I hate leaving here but I am going to the other curves that she owns and been offered to work as her assistant and fill in less often but when needed. That is something I have done for her before and it works for me I don’t mind the non-regular hours at all. I will go to that gym to keep exercising which is something that I know I need to do for my health. But although I have known for months that it might happen, it still saddened me more than I thought it would. I am not one who likes changes, I don’t so this has been one stressor and I have no control over the time frame, but I do have control over how I deal with it moving forward. So need a plan to deal with this change happily I have a few weeks till it all that happens. I am still scheduled to work 5 days this month, I am not sure about the last week but will do what is needed.
The other thing that has happened is a nice visit from Aaron my son in the Navy, he got leave and in his new car he drove up for a visit. It was a nice one and even though I did work and had things to do, we had some time to talk nothing major just talk. We walked together a number times and that was fun. Mostly just let him enjoy time off. Now there was a little stress but not anything bad.
The last thing is maintenance itself is confusing and difficult to figure out and really for each person it is different, how they will react and deal with it. No real program but some basics to figure out but it is mostly trial and error! I hate that there is no control and that is hard for me. I guess what I want is for someone to tell me what my guide lines are and what I need to do and then I can do it. I CAN!!! But this is more uncharted territory and something that has to be worked in slower sections and somethings will work and others won’t but that isnt known until there are tried. So that is where I am right now working on what I need to do eating and exercise to maintain my weight for the rest of my life and it be something I can live with and not be a hardship.
Well I am back its now Friday and I want to finish this up and get it posted.
So I have read this all over and thought about it for a couple days and here is the plan of action for the upcoming months.
Maintenance: I am going to take one day a week for now and give myself a special meal, still staying around 1300-1400 calories for the day, the rest of the week 1200-1300 but trying to stay closer to 1250. Give this a couple weeks and see what my weight does , if no gain then will try to do that every 4 days so about 2 times a week. I think that will be about all I will be able to add. For me the problem is that I have a sluggish thyroid which makes my metabolism even a little slower although I take meds it is still not working up to normal. LOL with me it’s never normal but that is what I have to deal with. I want to stay at about the same exercise split between strength and cardio.
I am going to add more meditation which I also learned at the stress class back into my schedule at least 3 times a week, with 2 days doing a form of Tia Chi. I am also challenging myself to either write in my journal or blog every other day. These things are to help my focus on me and give me the time to keep the stressors from getting to me.
Curves well the owner may have a buyer which is good, I am still not sure what way I will go. Since we will not know it the sale goes through till next week. I am deferring that decision until later. I do have options and will just work out what is best for me.
So that is the plan and I am going to keep working at it until it is something I can live with and enjoy my life, hey that is why I started this whole process to get healthier all the way back in 2001, I am so close I am not going to give up or stop. I might get slowed down by things that happen but I am the one who can control how I react to those things and just do the best that I can at the time, yes I have learned that too and it is a life saver.
This year has been not the easiest but you know it has not been the worst either. I am glad of who I am right now and how my life is going. Time for some fun and I deserve to have that time. Worked a long time to get here but it’s now my time. :D
Thanks for taking the time to come by and read this and sorry it went so long.
I am grateful for my friends here you are just the best and have kept me going through all these years on SP. Not sure this journey would have happened and I know I would have been harder with out you by my side.,
Hugs and smiles