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Living in the moment with feelings

Saturday, September 03, 2016

How does one do that successfully? Darned if I know.... Actually, I'm fairly certain I know how, but doing it not so much. Easier to talk about it. Write about it.

Living with a feeling- sadness. That's my feeling right now, quite deeply.

My mom is relocating from here in upstate NY to Florida, about an hour from Tampa. She sold the house we'd lived in for 50+ years (finally and long overdue), and has purchased a lovely. Fully furnished prefab house in sunny Florida. She'll come back in Summer's to visit - myself and 2 brothers are still here. Another brother and sister already live there- they're all in the same little retirement area. I've never lived in a different town or city from my mother. It's a really good move for her and I am happy for her, and proud of all the work she's down plowing through decades of stuff in a 3-story house and all she's accomplished to get to where she is. The big day she moves down is next Wednesday. The closer it comes the harder it is to avoid my feelings.

Sadness...how does one honor a feeling without rushing to cram it in a box or a poem or unhealthy indulgences (and why doesn't eating a hunk of cabbage distract us from feelings in times like this?!). Talk about my feelings - with my wife, and a little bit with my mom without rain in on her parade. She and I both know that my feelings of happiness for her, and sadness st our being physically separated are separate things, neither diminishes the other.

She and my stepdad are comin over for cards and supper tonight - that will be fun, and it's a way we have often enjoyed spending time together.

Bottom line tho, is that feelings are so simple and yet very difficult for me to "sit" with. Quietly, let it be felt, acknowledge it completely... Grateful that I am capable of feeling sad, that I have a relationship with my mom that, while we've been through a lot of conflict and hurt over the years, we've also worked thru a lot to the point where we are able most of the time to appreciate and enjoy one another NOW, in the moment.

Grateful that my Mom is still on the planet, grateful for the immediacy of communication throug cellphone and other technology.

It's ok to feel sad. I'm going to really miss her... That's something worthy feeling sad about!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wanted to welcome you to team purple- and I totally can relate to how you're feeling- and find that you write beautifully. I can understand something completely, and yet completely not be able to 'sit' with it comfortably. Wish it made more sense. emoticon
    1685 days ago
    Great ideas thank you!!!
    1688 days ago
    We do a video chat with my son and his family almost every week. It really helps!
    1688 days ago
    It is sad to have her move away. Maybe you can write her a letter?
    1688 days ago
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