A preferred destination
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
I woke up this morning feeling very anxious - which made me want to pull the blanket over my head and hide. I knew I would not sleep again, feeling as unsettled as I did. I managed to tell myself that exercise was the counter agent to the anxiety. I did have to say it a few times before I actually peeled back the covers and put my feet on the ground.
Mornings like that are such a struggle - each step requires A LOT of effort. I have to counter every negative thought, every urge to succumb to the fragility that the anxiety evokes. I have worked at this long enough to know that gentle but concerted and consistent action (in the form of movement, along with positive self talk) is the only way through it. I cannot hide from it, nor can I simply dismiss it.
I have to face it and address it. It is like the energy settles in an uncomfortable place, and its up to me to get it moving again. I know that I only put off the work if I stay in bed. Even a ten minute walk can begin to shift the tide. Waiting until lunchtime to walk only means that I will be incredibly and probably increasingly uncomfortable for another several hours. Getting that early walk is not a cure-all...it is more like a trail head - setting a course down the right path to a preferred destination.