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Losing it at the funeral

Friday, July 29, 2016

I am not proud of losing my temper at my mother's funeral. My husband is only sorry that he called my brother an SOB and that reflects on the mother. So he changed the insult after that.

I was trying to give my mother what she had told me she wanted in regard to her remains. Of the four of us, one brother disagreed and would not sign off. He kept coming up with "reasons" to do it his way. We kept countering with facts to the contrary. The funeral director told me that he had come up with a solution to bro's last objection and HAD TOLD bro about it. Since bro was still clinging to that excuse after he knew it was invalid, I went cheerfully up to him and pretending not to know he knew, presented the solution in front of witnesses. He started to shake, set his jaw, and through clenched teeth said "I just don't want it."

That put the rest of her funeral in limbo. After seething for about a day, I came to the conclusion that even though it was not what she wanted, if she were here she would give in to bro to keep the peace. So I gave my okay for bro to take over. Turns out he had already started the process.

I took care of my beautiful mother for 14 years. All he ever did was con her out of her "widow's pence" prior to her moving in with me. I found her check book with all the checks she made out to him with matching entries to move the money from savings. So now he wants to be a big shot and buy her an extravagant casket to be buried in and show how much he loved "the best mother I ever had"???? The cost of the casket doesn't put a dent in all the money he took from her when she was pinching every penny. There is so much I want to say to him, but he is a lonely grumpy old man and punishes himself enough so I don't need to. Besides, now I NEVER HAVE TO TALK TO HIM AGAIN!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon I cant add any more than your friends have... you are in my thoughts and I actually feel sorry for people like that...the only graditude they get is to make others smaller... emoticon
    1749 days ago
    Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. Just no words. My condolences to you and the rest of the family.
    1750 days ago
    You are doing the right thing. If your mom would have given in to him, then she would want you to also. The guilt is probably killing him. Hope you can make peace with yourself.

    1750 days ago
    My brother is the same way always taking money from my mom but I know when she can't take care of herself I will be there and I will take care of her like I always have. I am sorry you lost your mom. I will pray for you and wish you the best.
    1750 days ago
  • MWALKER376
    My condolences to you and your family ....you are doing the right thing about your brother.... The guilty always act up when a love one dies ....I experience it myself ....glad you're giving yourself the piece of mind you need and let God
    1750 days ago
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