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STEPH-KNEE
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Fed Up VS. Ready

Friday, July 29, 2016

This concept didn't come from me, but boy has it really hit home! I learn so much from my friend Lynn, and sometimes she even shares what other friends have shared with her. This concept came from her friend which she shared with me, and I couldn't be happier that she did!

How many times have you thought to yourself "I'm fed up with my weight, now is time to do something about it?" Fed up is great in theory... fed up means we are done with this nonsense and we WANT to do something about it. But just because we are fed up doesn't necessarily mean we are READY to do something about it.

I have struggled with weight my entire life... I was 205 at age 18 and bothered by my weight as early as age 10ish. Especially in my teenage years (age 15 on) I was extremely uncomfortable with my weight and fed up. I tried off on and on to lose weight and nothing stuck for long. I can't even remember the ages at which I tried various diets, but I was probably 14 when my mom and I did the Atkins Diet together. Crazy stuff right (not the diet but the age)?!

So to say I have been fed up with my weight for a very very long time is an understatement. The thing is, I haven't always been READY to lose weight. I did lose weight, 40 pounds, 3 times and gained it all back. The third attempt was with Spark people in 2009ish. When I gained that weight back I just stopped coming to Spark, I was too ashamed to come back and show my face. All that time went by, my weight was at an all time high, I was more fed up then ever but I wasn't ready.

I wasn't ready until March of 2012. That is when I was truly ready. I managed to lose 90 pounds, I kept most of that off for close to two years. After being so successful with weight loss my mom asked me the following question, and she asked it very delicately and kindly:

I have to ask you this and I want your honest answer... if I had pushed you more to lose weight before, would it have helped you?

I told her absolutely not, I had to be ready and I had to do this for myself on my own time. There was nothing she could have done to help me be READY to lose this weight. I reminded her that she did Jenny Craig with me, nutrisystem with me, Atkins with me in the past and that obviously hadn't helped over the long haul. It just wasn't my time.

She was so happy with my answer, she said that is what she believed but my dad had said she should have pushed me more to lose it (my dad is very supportive but very worried about HEALTH in general, so that is why), and I told him he was wrong.

That is the truth, you have to be READY. No one can make you do this. Being fed up sadly is not enough, it's a good start but it is not enough. If we look around, Spark is filled with people who are fed up, but not READY to go on this journey. They may not be losing, may have regained, or maybe be maintaining the same weight. They might be fed up but they might not be ready, and that is okay! emoticon

As for me, after over 3 1/2 years of doing this I got burnt out, I lost track of what was important and that is why I sit here 50 pounds heavier. Over the last year I have had a lot of false starts that stemmed from being fed up, but I simply wasn't ready. But now is the time, I finally feel READY and this time feels RIGHT.



With all of that said, I don't want anyone to think that I am saying you should just sit around and wait for a little Fairy to come land on your shoulder and tell you that you are ready and now is the time. emoticon I am just saying when you are ready it makes this journey just the slightest bit easier. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BLUEJAY1969
    Great blog Steph! I was so ready October of 2014 then the kids & Grands moved in and I wasn't ready any more. Now I'm ready again and it's happening all over again. This time I'm better armed as I did it once and can use that knowledge to do it this second time. I have never reached goal - well not since I was 23 or 24 but I look forward to hitting it in the future now!
    emoticon
    1775 days ago
  • CATGIRL97
    What a great eye opener. I so agree with this! At this point in my life, I am ready
    1777 days ago
  • MALAMI518
    Great blog! I have missed so many of your blogs while I was gone. I need to go back and catch up when I find a spare minute or two...
    1779 days ago
  • FLGIRL1234
    Totally hit home! Great blog. emoticon emoticon
    1779 days ago
  • BONNIEMCC488
    Oh man how I can relate to the "fed up" vs. "ready to do something about it." I'm FED UP right now but not feeling mentally ready to get something done, which sucks because I know I could if I was just ready... so I'm kind of trying to get mentally ready.

    I'm glad you're feeling READY now. That is really more than half the battle right there, and we both know it lol. Keep moving forward :)
    1779 days ago
  • TRENTDREAMER
    "but I was probably 14 when my mom and I did the Atkins Diet together. Crazy stuff right (not the diet but the age)?! "
    * Not uncommon unfortunately


    "With all of that said, I don't want anyone to think that I am saying you should just sit around and wait for a little Fairy to come land on your shoulder and tell you that you are ready and now is the time."
    * OK. I'll wait for a mid-sized or larger one. :D (Nah, seriously, I get what you're saying).


    IDK, I've come to the conclusion that one of the worst thing to focus on when trying to lose weight is weight loss.

    That's me though.
    1779 days ago
  • no profile photo JSEATTLE
    Yes you are so right on this. To Each in His or Her Own TIme.
    1780 days ago
  • PURPOSEPOWER95
    congrats as co cappie of the minions.
    1780 days ago
  • IDICEM
    Very good point!
    1780 days ago
  • BESSHAILE
    Yep. When you're ready, you want to do things differently You don't HAVE to. Have fun doing the new and different. Each time you try you learn new things.

    See ya in your happy place.
    1780 days ago
  • WENDYANNE61
    Great insight - enjoy the ride while you are getting the job done, my dear!
    1780 days ago
  • CHOOSETHERESULT
    Great blog my friend! emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • MOONGLOWSNANA
    Thanks Steph. You have said some really valid things in this blog. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • STEPH-KNEE
    emoticon Thanks everyone! I am so glad so many of you could understand what I was trying to say! emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • STEPH-KNEE
    emoticon Thanks everyone! I am so glad so many of you could understand what I was trying to say! emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • STEPH-KNEE
    emoticon Thanks everyone! I am so glad so many of you could understand what I was trying to say! emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • STEPH-KNEE
    emoticon Thanks everyone! I am so glad so many of you could understand what I was trying to say! emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • STEPH-KNEE
    emoticon Thanks everyone! I am so glad so many of you could understand what I was trying to say! emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • STEPH-KNEE
    emoticon Thanks everyone! I am so glad so many of you could understand what I was trying to say! emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • _CYNDY55_
    emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • WHYTEBROWN
    emoticon emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • KOHINOOR2
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    You have nailed it.
    1781 days ago
  • SHOAPIE
    emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14815535
    Absolutely agree whole-heartedly with your blog! Thank you!
    1781 days ago
  • JAMIRBLAZE
    Yes, yes, and yes. I went on Weight Watchers at age 8, I think. I was pretty young with my mom. And then didn't do much until adulthood, though I hated the fat, but I wasn't ready.

    emoticon emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • BABYBARNEY
    Being ready is setting yourself up for success...your surroundings (environment) & your mind...

    Now Get READY, SET & GO!!!

    Come on Steph... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon I HAVE FAITH IN YOU!!!
    1781 days ago
  • DAWNSUCCESS
    Great blog. Thank you.
    1781 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14034154
    Steph,

    What a FANTASTIC blog! Your body knew before you knew, that it wasn't time. It's just that you had to start listening to your body, and when you got in sync with one another, that was all she wrote, and as the say in the opera world, "It's not over until the Fat Lady sings." Yes, back then all of their women were so overweight, and that's where that phrase came from. So, for you the Fat Lady has sung, and you're moving one, knowing what you and your body need to do. Let's do this TOGETHER!!!!!

    Blessings!


    - Nancy Jean -
    GA
    1781 days ago
  • no profile photo CHAYOR73
    Love the last statement emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • IAMSUNNYHOWARD
    emoticon Good blog! I have been fed up for a long time, and did the yo yo thing for years. Now it is about making permanent lifestyle changes so I only have to lose it once and keep it off! emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • DSJB9999
    emoticon emoticon and it's good that you are now ready and in the right place to do it now!!! emoticon emoticon

    I and clearly lots of people are here for you too. emoticon emoticon


    1781 days ago
  • SUBMOM2
    emoticon
    You've given me lots to think about today. Thank you!
    1781 days ago
  • SUSIEMT
    Stephanie! Great blog!!! Truly well said!!

    I experienced many of the same losses and lots of regains, until I lost all confidence in myself and said I quit!! Then I stopped weighing myself and ate what I wanted when I wanted etc. I had to retire at 54 due to my weight. I had a stand up job and just couldn't do it anymore! I was killing myself but wasn't READY to do anything about it. Four years passed and someone sent me the spark invitation to check out the website and I did only because I love sparkles. Great reason wasn't it. Anyway, I joined and decided to read some articles about nutrition. They all made sense and it was then I said to myself that I was not the expert the coaches were. I would take their advice. One small change at a time. The rest is history as they say. So I can truly say been there done that!

    I am so glad you wrote this blog. Someone will read this and it will hit them. They are ready! Woo Hoo you!

    emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15003511
    You are absolutely correct. Great blog. It really spoke to me and I was nodding my head "yes" many times.
    1781 days ago
  • JENSTRESS
    This could not be more true. I've yo yoed for years. I don't have the same journey as you (does anyone?) I was an athlete and thin most of my life, until I wasn't. Then unhealthy addictions with foods and exercise came in... and I yoyoed for a long time. I would get fed up, lose weight and then gain it back with extra. When I hit the 230-240 range, I was done. (I didn't weigh myself, but I'm fairly good at guess what I must have weighed) and I lost a lot of weight. Then something happened, and it triggered the re-gain. I was slightly better equipped than before, in that during the regain, I would gain a small semblance of control and lose a little, then gain, then lose, then gain, until I was about 215-220. So I didn't gain it all back, but CLOSE. And I felt ready that time. That was at the first of the year. I'm still going. I'm 7 pounds from my goal. I've stumbled a few times, but I'm still here. This time I'm learning more and more about what makes me binge, what makes me do those things, and I'm trying to "fix" them. Be aware. Change my behavior as I can. I do know that I've never felt like this before. Because of my past, I'm still a little scared of regain, but this time I'm paying MUCH more attention, and know that I'm not stopping. It just feels different.

    Like it does for you. You got this.
    1781 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13354694
    What an emoticon message/blog!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • HMBROWN1
    How true! And for me it is not only ready, but AWARE. I find myself planning and prepping and packing lunches and then there will be pastry or cookies in the lunchroom and I just instinctively grab one (or two) - WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT. REALLY??? How could this be? It is from years of bad habits and conditioning. I need to step it up in the awareness department. Best wishes!
    1781 days ago
  • MISCHAKEO
    You are right..you need to be ready and to have made the decision that this is the time to lose weight. You might be fed up, but not ready to act. Good blog.
    1781 days ago
  • AQUAGIRL08
    I love this blog! You are absolutely right.
    1781 days ago
  • DESERTDREAMERS
    Ah, I was hoping you'd send the "get off your butt" fairy to me!
    1781 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/29/2016 8:31:56 AM
  • LINDAK25
    emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • DEBVNE
    You are so ready, let this girl out to play! The second part to ready is jumping right in for me. Can't swim if ya aren't in the dang pool...ready to me denotes action and conscious decisions. Ready means you swing for the fences and play hard. It's work, yet worth every ounce of your best effort. Come on chica, let your ready be your reality. Huge hugs and cheering you on....
    emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • CARBMONSTERII
    I believe this with all my heart and soul. But I also think we have to listen very, very hard to hear the tiny voice that may reply "yes" when we ask ourselves, "am I ready?". Sometimes, we learn we are ready because when we started again, this time, we were able to do it, for now, and for tomorrow and for every day after that. After we've done it for a time, that tiny voice will get louder and louder, saying,"you're ready, you're doing it, keep going".
    1781 days ago
  • NASFKAB
    its so very true thanks to Lynn for her input being FEDUP is not enough have to be READY
    1781 days ago
  • PENOWOK
    I agree! You have to be ready because it takes a commitment. You have to count the cost.
    1781 days ago
  • NELLJONES
    In the 12 Step Programs, we are told that we have to be ready to go to any lengths to achieve what we say we want to achieve. No one can give you that willingness, it has to come from within. At that point you can ask for help, and it will actually be help rather than a perceived criticism.
    1781 days ago
  • FITJEN48
    Girl. I can't tell you how much I'm picking up what you're throwing down. I totally get it. For me, being ready is a mindset that takes time to develop. You're right. Keep trying in the mean time. Ready will catch up. Yes! To being ready.
    1781 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12525212
    Very very true!
    1781 days ago
  • MARYBETH4884
    I needed to hear this!!!! Thank you, Thank Lynn and her friend!!! This idea helps with the feels of failure with my many recent false starts at weight loss!!!
    1781 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.