Here we go again!
Monday, July 18, 2016
I am back! After last years 20-someting lb weight loss, I fell amazing! Of course that was only the beginning of a long journey, but a great start, so I thought.
My wedding was my huge motivation and for a couple of months I was doing great!
However as soon as the wedding was over, I fell apart. How? I don't know! I had done so well, that I thought I deserved some slack. And then some more, and a little more here and there. After all I knew how to lose weight, I just needed a little break.
And guess what, in no time I was right back where I had started before the wedding. Realizing what had happened made me so angry, and sad, and disappointed, that I fell into a somewhat deep depression and gained even more. I tried to heal my soul with TV and comfort food in bed. Calling in sick and barely leaving the house. And guess what, that made me angry, and sad, and disappointed at myself even more! I really hated myself for what I was doing, but I just didn't know how to break out and jump off of the carousel of this bad version of me.
I think for a lot of people, including me, this game of losing and gaining weight is very much played out in our brains and psyche. If something is clouding your inner vision, there is little you can do.
And here I am again!
It took me about a year of struggle and many ups and downs to come back to this community and admit to myself and the world that I need help. I crawl out of my hiding and am ready for yet another journey. I hope it will be a successful one and I wish it will be a lasting one. I have hope in myself and I have hope in this community. Let's tackle this together!