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Empty Promises & Ramblings

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

It's funny how such a tiny, sweet, perfectly timed comment can make your day. Today I had not one, but two very sweet comments from two of my favorite Sparkers! (Deb & Bess I'm talking about you!) I was going to write them back, but then I thought why not update in a blog? It's funny though because I feel like there is nothing going on... but i do realize that people start to wonder what is going on when you are quiet. (Deb & Bess, not talking about you in that instance, you ladies always check in on me and I am so very blessed). So I guess a quick update is better than keeping people wondering.

The bad news is I have no good news to share LOL!

I am currently fighting the Ant wars. This hadn't happened in 2 years and now they are back full force. I have gotten rid of them twice but then they come from somewhere else. I feel like I can only put the traps in certain areas because of the dog, so I'm pretty frustrated with that.

I have been eating like crap. There is no other way to say it. One thing I have decided in my everyday life is that I'm done talking about weight loss. I have been talking about getting back on track off and on for a year and I have had 0 long term success. I've had a few good weigh ins and quickly rebound. It's so funny, but it's one of those things where I need to stop drawing attention to my screw ups.

As for Spark, I don't think that I will ever fully stop sparking, and I don't mind pointing out my screw ups to all of you ha ha. But as far as talking the talk and not walking the walk in my everyday life, I just have to knock it off.

I did however promise myself on Spark and my weight loss journey facebook page, that I would stop saying what I'm GOING to do and only report what I've already done. I really think part of the reason I am struggling so much is for all the broken promises to myself. Is it a little embarrassing to say I am going to do x,y,z and then not follow through or quit pretty quickly into it. But the worst part is the disappoint in yourself... thinking wow I just couldn't do it, or I didn't put forth the effort.

So I have been honest about posting anything I WANT to do and only what I HAVE already done, but I haven't really done a whole lot. emoticon

One thing I will say is I am on day 3 of no caffeine! It has been brutal! I am a diet soda drinker, and I have kicked the habit a couple times in the past but it always comes back. The thing that got to me was one night at work I had the worst headache that even Tylenol couldn't get rid of, I realized it was because I hadn't had a soda yet. That really just made me so mad. To think I was at the mercy of a soda, ridiculous!

The other thing is that on the rare occasion I want a boost from caffeine (an early day at Disneyland, a horrible tired night at work), I would like to know that an Iced Coffee or Monster Energy Drink would actually give me a boost. My body is so accustomed to caffeine that it doesn't give me a boost when I need it.

I decided I should start this during my 8 days off work, but I went out with a friend on the second day, so I am only 3 days in. I am SO glad that I waited until I was off because my headaches have been ridiculous, but Wednesday will mark day 4 and I hope I can keep going and not turn back.

What it made me realize is maybe tackling just one or two habits at a time, and making those habits LONG TERM is the way to go. So while my weight is up, my spirit is down, all I can do is just keep trying.

In fun news I tried this Trader Joe'sVegan Chicken-less Orange Chicken and it was DELICIOUS!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SUGAR0814
    Totally can relate! Thanks for sharing! emoticon emoticon
    1801 days ago
  • NATALIA_123
    1802 days ago
    Good news! Diet root beer doesn't have caffeine (at least, almost all brands.... there is only one brand that I know of that does, and my favorite store doesn't carry it)
    1804 days ago
  • no profile photo JSEATTLE
    I Have to have my coffee in the morning. But 2-3 cups a day is about all for me. I do love the occasional Iced Americano on a hot summer afternoon. Must try the Trader Joe's selection, their frozen food aisle always has some great finds.
    1805 days ago
    We have been fighting the war against ants and losing. We finally had to call in an exterminator. I am trying to stop the caffeine also but give in because of the awful headaches. emoticon
    1805 days ago
    1805 days ago
    I'm an admitted caffiend - gotta have my coffee every day, or I'll get the withdrawal headaches. Still keeps m from sleeping if I drink it too close to bedtime. Every time I think of cutting it out, I see another study "helps prevent diabetes, pancreatic cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's ..." So, I have another cup. I figure I'm OK until I crash on a deserted island or in the wilderness somewhere. OK! Then I'll stop. emoticon

    I admire anyone who can shut it down and keep off of it (or ciggies, or whatever they're kicking). You Go, Grrl!
    1806 days ago
    Sorry to hear about the ants, but glad you're continuing to check in as you usually do, that can make all the difference in the world. I too have been eating too much junk. It's a hard battle to win! All we can do is keep moving forward!
    1806 days ago
    You have great self-awareness. You can make this work. Keep Sparking!
    emoticon emoticon
    1806 days ago
    you can do it just keep on going
    1806 days ago
  • _CYNDY55_
    emoticon on No more caffeine!
    emoticon for sharing the Trader Joe's Vegan Chicken-less Orange Chicken! I'll check it out!
    1806 days ago
    Sorry to hear about the bad news.

    Major kudos to you for trying to kick caffeine. Very wise move to do it on a time-off period.

    TJs has really good vegetarian chili. I like it anyway.

    Thank you for your friendship and blog support!
    1806 days ago
  • LINDAK25
    Yup, making promises and then not following through is a real blow to my self-esteem. I have to start taking those small steps again and working on one habit at a time, too.
    1806 days ago
    You have my support.
    1806 days ago
  • RUTHIET_456
    Yes, you face challenges, but you have a plan, and that's what gets us what we need. I hear you on not posting your intentions but only your actions. I've been guilty of that as well. That's part of the reason why I steer clear of challenges, I feel awful when I don't reach my goals. You got this!!
    1807 days ago
    good luck and you know you have support here!
    1807 days ago
    What would LUKE say to you, Steph? NEVER give up & post whatever keeps you happiest, & successful in your journey to better health. Caffeine can be a huge problem for some...as a menopausal migraine sufferer, I understand your headaches...thank goodness post menopause has helped...my caffeine max is 2 a day or it messes with my newly regulated sleep. Those energy drinks are dangerous for the heart...don't be sucked into that habit...it seems like it would be too hard to break...

    You are the MEATLESS pro...I remember when you first started out giving that up...so just THINK what OTHER habits you can form....I HAVE FAITH IN YOU...Stick with us sparkers we are in this together!!!! emoticon
    1807 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14034154

    Girl I was a BIG caffeine addict and I knew I had to kick the habit, or it would kill me, It took me a couple of years to get off of it. It took a total of 5 years to kick the habit of soda. It made me feel like more than a million bucks! I felt WONDERFUL and like I could take on the whole world! You can do this, but it will take some real effort! I'll help you as much as I can.

    Remember the headache that you said you had? Yes, caffeine took it away, as that's what it was looking for, but once you really get it out of your system for good, you will not longer have those headaches. Go ahead and give it a try.


    - Nancy Jean -
    1807 days ago
    I had the same problem one day, but it turned out it wasn't the caffeine. It was something else in the soda (I'll guess aspartame, but it could have been any of it!). I had a horrible headache that I fell asleep with and woke up with the next day (which is just the worst!) and then I took Advil, ate a banana, then a multivitamin, then finally asked my husband if I could have one of his regular Cokes. Nothing. I went to a friend's house for a dinner party, even though I wanted to call and cancel, because I felt so ill. There, I drank a Diet Coke, and within 20 minutes, the headache was GONE.
    1807 days ago
    Sorry to hear about the ants. I hope you can get it sorted out soon. I can totally relate to everything else that you said though. I've written so many blogs about this is the time and this is what I'm going to do when alas I'm still stuck on the weight recycle. emoticon I've decided not to focus on fast results so much though but to do what is manageable and like you only talk about when it's done! We just have to keep trying because emoticon

    P.S. emoticon on your new streak of being caffeine free. I hope you're as successful being caffeine free as you are being meat -free.
    1807 days ago
    well for ants...I just vacuum them all up lol. I know it's not recommended but it's the only thing that worked for me the best. Baby powder works really well too. I vacuum up the majority of them and find where they're coming in from and put baby powder around there. Works every time.
    I have been failing all year. I was supposed to be at goal weight again by March...HA! Still up and over. That doesn't mean I'll give up. NO WAY! Glad you're staying strong and continuing forward!
    1807 days ago
    Stephanie you are one of my very favorite sparkers. You are so honest it makes me feel like a fraud! I think the place for your goals is on your spark page. Blogging is about what you have done. Whether it's a success or a huge blunder!. Your life is so interesting and well, fun. I know everyday can't always be as interesting and fun all the time however when you have something to say you are right there. Woo Hoo you!
    This is July 13th and I had to build a fire it is so damp and chilly here in Hamilton MT. Now that is the extent of my interesting day unless I go to the fitness center.

    Just try to build on one streak at a time one moment at a time, good luck on being caffeine free, I am not.

    1807 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10895053
    If you're having sugar ant trouble, like we have had, Terro works great for that. It's in a little bottle and a wee bit will do the trick. You probably already know all about it!!

    I know exactly what you're going through, with making promises and not following through. Life and our Rheumatoid Arthritis, stop us in our tracks, and it's not fair, but we have to go on because we want to live and have the best quality of life possible. I'm eating low-carb and some days are better than others. None of us are perfect. We'd go nuts if we'd try to be each day!!!! I think the best way to get through each day with flying colors, is to keep it simple, and that's the best!! Plan simple. Taco salad without the shell, chef salad, lettuce salad with grilled chicken strips, cheese. Meat and veggies, eggs with cheese, etc. emoticon
    1807 days ago
  • BLUEJAY1969
    ANTS - for safety around the pets you can use baby powder to repel the ants. Once you sweep it up though they come back fairly quickly. It does work though as this is what my daughter does as she has small children so no traps for her either.

    Caffeine - I agree with the poster that said just shoot me! I drink Diet Coke with Splenda - it's the only soda I know made with sucralose only. I don't drink many of them but I have GOT to have one first thing in the morning!!

    I think that one or two small goals is the way to go my dear. And as long as you keep trying you're still in the fight. One thing is don't let one slip in a day ruin your whole day! I have had a habit of doing that. Saying oh well I screwed up so now I might as well blow off the entire day! That is a habit that this time around I am trying very hard to break! It's also the best piece of advice I can give you!
    1807 days ago
    Just shoot me now if I have to give up coffee...like seriously! Two cups a day, it is my thang. Folgers, forget about it...give me the good stuff. Definitely could lose the diet soda I occasionally have, you are a gutsy chica for living through those head bangers. Yow! Give yourself HUGE props for that...and a warm compress.

    Sometimes when we least expect it the universe gives a nudge (or hug) to let us know that others care, and the wonky in our world will right itself. Had myself an ugly cry before 6:00am today, wait...gets better! The hubs sat down, heard me out, and didn't make me one ounce crazier or unhappy. Soooo unexpected and out of the norm, amen! (Goes back to my forces at work theory...) It has been rough lately, the whole country is feeling it. Throw in some DOMS, lack of sleep, and the hungries yesterday...boiled down to a meltdown. Nothing wrong with waving the white flag, powerful personal accountability piece. Helped me reset before I wasted a day throwing a pity party that no one would want to attend.

    Vacation what?! Hire an Ecco friendly pest service, and find some fun! For realsies! Take amazing care of my friend, she is infinitely special to me...
    1807 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12525212
    I am with you on only posting what I have done. My level of frustration with myself right now is through the roof. I know it will get better for both of us, just need some patience.
    1807 days ago
    TOTALLY been there like that. Talking the talk without walking it. It was AWFUL. Just ridiculous. I felt like such a failure. Which I think was the problem. I felt discouraged. When I started this most recent time back on spark, I vowed, no more lies, no more cheating, no more fake attitude. If I ate garbage, I would talk about it, get through it and move on. If I gained, I would figure out WHY if I binged, the same. I didn't want to at first, but my honesty has been so refreshing to me. It has opened things up to me that help me see the WHY of why I have been doing it in the past. As I figure it out and confront those demons, I keep gaining success. You will too!
    1807 days ago
  • BETRHO48
    Go slow. Make changes, one at a time. You can do it. Caffeine is addicting & those high energy drinks are not good for you (your heart). I was addicted to it and the headaches & extreme tiredness coming off it were unbearable. But worth going for.
    1807 days ago
    Oh my gosh the ants make me nutso too!
    1807 days ago
    Only what you've done. I stare at my "my do it" list and think "I did not do that or that" and then I get mad at me! So now I post the day after what I did do! For example, this is Wednesday so I checked off the things I did do on Tuesday. It seems to work, except for the food tracking, I have to figure a better way to be honest about what goes in my mouth.
    1807 days ago
    Years ago, I drank nothing with caffeine. But I did get migraines. When the migraines would come, I took 2 excedrin and about half a cup of coffee or some sort of caffeinated drink and the headache would go away. Fast forward and now I drink green tea in the morning and a cup of coffee. If I miss the coffee or tea, which happens from time to time if I'm traveling, it's no big deal. I think you're smart to do the break while off work, but I would have weaned by having less and less until it was maybe just a couple of ounces. Good thinking to work on 1 thing at a a time!! That's the ticket! Hang in there...the meatless chicken looks good! Lucky you to have a trader joe's nearby!
    1807 days ago
    You go girlfriend. And read this article - if you didn't get it in your email.


    It's always been my contention that we don't do anything for the long haul unless it's fun.

    Now and then I have had to cold turkey the caffeine too. Get the same 3 day headache. Please do not ever drink another monster caffeine drink. I think they are going to prove dangerous one of these days and be taken off the market. (now say "yes, mama"). Hugs. My champion girl.
    1807 days ago
    Congrats to being caffeine free!

    I believe it is a great idea to blog about what you have done, rather than about what you plan to do... plans may or may not come through, no need to create additional stress and worries.
    1807 days ago
    Sorry about the ants. They can be a real nuisance!

    I think you're right about tackling one habit at a time, just think about establishing a good/rewarding habit in its place!
    1807 days ago
    emoticon I think we have let summer get to us. Pick it up and bring it back- You can do it!
    1807 days ago
  • JOANN25
    You can get back on track with all the things you need to. Stay positive (as you are doing) and work on the hardest things for you to do correctly first...the last part will not seem so long if you get the worst behind you. It's hard to stay on track all the time. I have started over so many times. I am really trying now but things seem to get in the way of my completing my tasks. WE CAN DO THIS. Keep Sparking.
    1807 days ago
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