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The Return

Monday, June 06, 2016

I will be 300 again soon.

This is not good news.

But this is the dirty little secret of weight loss. It's temporary.

We love to point at ignorance or moral failings or deception or whatever. Apart from a torn meniscus which my doctors have decided not to repair because of arthritis under there (and so I have trouble walking), and menopause, there really is nothing to blame.

Food intake is comparable. Weights workout is comparable. I drink 13 (really) cups of water per day. I rarely drink alcohol. I don't indulge in sweets often, and limit myself when I do. I haven't eaten beef since I was 13. I don't eat pork (it's not kosher). I don't fry everything I eat. I watch the salt. I have soda maybe twice a year. My meals balance between protein and carbs, with fats in a smaller percentage. I cook a good 90% of the time. Restaurant meals truly are rare - this week's 4+ pound gain came from a restaurant meal composed of a salad and a stir fry with chicken, and iced coffee with stevia. I am not exaggerating.

I even had plastic surgery to remove the loose skin. You can see the faded scars from a tummy tuck and breast lift. They are still there.

And I am tired. Tired of this nonsense. Tired of one restaurant meal this week (yes, really) turning into a negatively impressive 4.4 pound gain.

This week.

Isn't that awesome? Isn't that amazing? It takes months to take off a pound, yet our bodies are champions, gold star warriors at putting it on.

I got down to about 165 less than 7 years ago. I ran a dozen 5Ks a year. There are finisher medals stacked up in one room. I was down to a size 6.

I am a size 22. My knee hurts like a mother every time it rains. That is the legacy of all of those damned 5Ks - pain when the weather changes.

We have all seen, I am sure, the article which was in the NY Times a few months ago, about how major weight loss does not last. I am its poster child.

The Fast Metabolism Diet gave me a 15 pound loss and then nothing else. I cut out dairy and gluten and I hated the way I felt. Coconut oil in cooking felt greasy and disgusting. I was miserable.

The Always Hungry Solution gave me maybe a 5 pound loss (and I run that team, by the way!). And then that was it.

Either way, I am sick of not living in the world.

I am tired of being the dieter. Yes, yes, I know, lifestyle changes, blah blah blah.

I have been on Sparkpeople for years and I know the drill and I know the mantra. I have been chanting that mantra since before many of you ever heard of this place. Again, no exaggeration - look at my fitness minutes. I truly have been here forever, or so it seems.

I am not necessarily looking for a solution with this blog post. I don't even know if this is a cautionary tale. These are not the slow increments of an extra piece of chocolate. They are not the product of binges, either. They are life.

The article - and I have no reason not to believe it - followed people with serious, over 100 pound weight losses like mine. And you know what? I am so damnably efficient that I need something like 500 calories less to maintain than most people.

Essentially what this means is, in order to maintain (not lose, maintain!), I will have to stop eating dinner.


Maintenance, people. It's what's (not) for dinner.

And it stinks.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh Dear One,
    I don't know how often you come to your page, & if or when you will see this if you are still in the weeds. I yo-yo'ed through so many diets, and finally found this one that is working for me. I have had all the head knowledge needed to be an absolute expert at weight loss-- but I couldn't succeed in getting at off and keeping it off. Turns out, scientific data shows that only 1% of overweight people are successful in reaching their goal weight, and then, only 1% of THOSE people will keep it off. So you have so much company! But will power will fail you and then you only feel worse -- like it's a moral failure. Finally in January, I decided to take the plunge. To do what I knew I had to do but I felt incapable to do. I know they say there's no IT, no magic bullet to lose weight, but Susan Peirce Thompson, PhD.,of Bright Line Eating uses the latest brain science to help achieve weight loss. PLEASE just watch this video and see what you think. It can change your life FOREVER! http://foodfreedom.brightlineeating
    .com/3-huge-mistakes-nc/ She has a lot of other free videos on YouTube and on her website that can help you!
    1619 days ago
    Thanks @UPPITYANN - We eat out about once every 2 weeks.

    Seriously, there is nothing open and obvious about this rapid weight gain. I do have known thyroid issues - what I suspect is truly happening is that my thyroid is really failing.
    1872 days ago
    This from an on-line diabetes forum I perused:

    "I had a garden salad with grilled chicken (no dressing) the other day and my sugars went through the roof. Turns out the restaurant put some sort of glaze on the chicken which is mostly sugar."

    Never know what things restaurants are putting on the food to make it taste good. This gal was fortunate to find out what was put on the food, many places will not even reveal the extra things they are adding---which you would NEVER add at home!

    If you eat out several times a week this could be part of your problem.

    Take care! I am VERY interested in your dilemma. I've seen your web blog. You are a TALENTED woman! You wrote a whole freeken novel in ONE MONTH!!! You figure out what's going on with your body and you have a multi $M block-buster and a real game changer for tens of thousands of people.


    emoticon (This little guy doesn't get the fingers right but he will have to do.)

    1872 days ago
    Thanks. I am a semi-vegetarian. I have been for 40 years. Lots of fruits and vegetables in my life. :)
    1873 days ago

    1873 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/11/2016 2:58:09 PM
    For sure something ELSE is going on and IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

    The latest research says that the slowed metabolism from (rapid) weight loss lasts for years, maybe as you suggest even a lifetime. And, how rapid is "rapid"?

    Next step in the weight control research has to be ways to increase metabolism...without the need to bulk up with a lot of muscle.

    Meanwhile, live life as best you can. Don't exacerbate the problem with any binges or reverting to bad food choices. And watch the stress level!

    I hear people talk about "hunger in America" and I have to laugh. So many of us have plenty of money to buy food and WE are perhaps the most hungry people there are! We are starving ourselves to lose weight.

    I have only two words for you....wait for them.....lean a little closer..... fruits & veggies. And make 'em fresh!

    When I build my life around them I lose weight or at least maintain. When I don't, I don't.

    I think there is more at work than simple calories. I think that enzymes and minerals and other nutrients discovered and undiscovered are at play which nobody is talking about yet.

    If fruits and veggies are the poor cousins in your meal plans then it is time to re-think your meals. If they are a center of your focus and these untoward events are happening then there is nothing left to say except to say...I feel your pain and just hope you believe that you are so much MORE than your body!

    Blessings on you.

    1873 days ago
    I hope you continue to blog, it may help you vent.
    1878 days ago
    Oh, thank you, everyone. You're very kind.

    I know what must be done. Main anger/concern is that it hasn't been working. Gah. Big pain in the patoot.
    1878 days ago
    emoticon emoticon

    I know how you feel, I have been there many times. I got desperate and joined Overeaters Anon and have lost 32 pounds this year. I hope you find something that works for you.
    1878 days ago
    I'm sorry you're struggling. emoticon
    1878 days ago
    Oh I hear you. I'm starting Year 3 of being back to Sparkpeople. The first year I lost 40 pounds. I was losing consistently until I had a round of antibiotics which brought weight loss to a screeching halt. I thought it was only temporary but the second year I only lost 5 pounds for the whole year. I told myself I'm disabled so I'm mostly sedentary, I'm closer to goal so it will be harder to lose weight, at least I'm not gaining and THEN I've had weight gains for the last 5 weeks. I've done nothing different. I know this game. But something else is happening.

    1878 days ago
    Ugh. I totally understand. It isn't fair, it isn't what we want, and it's frustrating. To track, to watch every bite, to re-think each meal, and to fit in exercise (especially with messed up knees, I know that one for sure).

    But the alternative is the looming weight and sizes. I was up to a size 22 dress for a friend's wedding. That was it, either I took control of myself or I was headed for Omar the Tentmaker for my next dress.

    So - you know what to do. And maybe start swimming instead of running? Knee braces can help, and I elevate my legs with 3 pillows when I sleep. (And untuck the blankets so you don't get foot cramps.)

    We're all in the same boat. Ever vigilant, watching each fork or spoonful, and bemoaning the fact that we don't have the metabolism of a 20 yr old male athlete. But we're women, our bodies love adding fat. (My dr told me ovulation/menstruation burns about 2000-2500 calories a month - so menopause means we stop burning those calories!!! That alone is almost 1 lb a month! AGH!)

    Small changes, my friend. Small changes that you keep making, over and over again. Adding other small changes. Until you wake up one day and realize that you CAN do this, and you'll keep doing it.

    Okay? Big hugs, as I said we're here too!
    1878 days ago
    Absolutely yours is a cautionary tale! And a common one at that, having been there, done that...!

    I have always said there is powerful motivation in being sick & tired of feeling sick & tired. We can take it up another level too and be sick & tired of that too...lol.

    It takes some real strength to come back and share your backslide with us Jes.

    This is proof, at least to me, and I know to you in time as well, that you have the strength to reclaim your lost ground. Your comment about "not living in the world" reminds me of the sweetness of truly being Alive In The World...go get your pep talk from Jackson Browne!

    Rootin' fer ya!

    1878 days ago
    This is a great reminder blog. Thank you!
    1878 days ago
    Thank you for your kinds words. Yes, I have been to my doctor. And no, this isn't just a one-day thing. I just haven't been blogging because this has been annoying me and, frankly, my terms of choice for how I am feeling are not printable on Spark.
    1878 days ago
    My heart goes out to you & never give up! Have you worked with a Dr or Nutrionist, or been mostly DIY (if so, extremely impressed with your knowledge!)? If not, perhaps another avenue for you to try. Godspeed & good luck. Keep fighting!
    1878 days ago
    I am really not dieting, just making sure i eat balanced with lots of fiber and protein and keep moving. Walk 3-4 miles a day, stationary bike in really bad weather and half hour strenght training. I do hope i can stick with this
    1878 days ago
    ...than stop tracking, miss a few days exercise, stress takes over etc... I am good at dieting, lousy at maintaining. This time i got way up to 420, now down to 250 in a year and determined to get down to 155 even if it takes another 2 years.
    1878 days ago
    Same here. I have been dieting since highschool. Telried under doctors care, maintained for a few years than work stress and spinal injury cut into my excercise. I did it a couple times on my own, but seem to be happy when i get to around 200 and..
    1878 days ago
    I'm really sorry that your experience has been so difficult. My heart goes out to you and prayers have gone up.
    1878 days ago
  • SAASHA17
    u know u will wake up tomorrow n b like okay vent iver back to my lifestyle change.. U can do this.. dont let that one day set the tone for what u have achieved, take care
    1878 days ago
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