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My Friend...the Food Pusher

Friday, April 29, 2016

You probably know one of these…

Wednesday, I usually spend the day with a friend. We go shopping, sometimes to the movies, or out to dinner. I plan for these outings and, usually, I enjoy them.

For some reason this week, however, she was unusually aggressive about food. At the grocery store, as I was buying some staples, she kept pushing sweets at me. Bear in mind, she knows I am working on my weight and we have shopped together every week for months and she has never seen me buy sweets on any type of regular basis. But she kept saying, “It won't hurt you. You've lost weight and should give yourself a treat. You know, things like that.” I held firm and hoped that was the end of it…nope.

We leave the grocery store and she says, “I want ice cream.” I said that was no problem, we could go to DQ and she could have a cup or cone. She, very indignantly, says “You won't eat with me!” I said I would not have ice cream since we were going out to dinner but I would get an iced tea so we could both be doing something. She said what good did that do, she would still be eating alone. We did not go to DQ. I asked her what was up because this was a side I never encountered before. She said she doesn’t feel right eating if I won't eat with her. Besides, I really don't need to lose too much more.

Huh!?! I am 78 lbs over my goal weight!

I asked what she was talking about. She then told me that I was too strict on myself and she felt bad for me and was just trying to get me to treat myself. I asked her where this was coming from. We have been going out together for months and I eat out with her every week. I also told her I did not feel deprived one bit and, if I wanted a sweet or special treat, I would work it into my program. She responded, that it felt like she couldn't have something because I wouldn't eat it as well and she felt uncomfortable.

Over dinner, I explained that my watching what I ate in no way affected or should affect how she eats. I don't feel deprived. I don't feel like there is anything I can't eat. I do feel good when I make good choices. And, if the occasion comes when I want ice cream or pizza or whatever, I will plan for it and have it. It was not a comfortable evening.

However, I felt good that I stuck to my guns. My journey is MY journey and I won't let someone else control it.

So Food Pushers beware. I am strong and I am in charge.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD13423552
    Good for you, don't let anyone sabotage your journey! I had a talk with my husband when I started. I knew he was not ready to do something, but I was. I told him he did not have to change his eating habits, but he could not sabotage me. If he wanted ice cream, go ahead and have ice cream, but don't push me into having it. He agreed and was true to his word. We need supporters, not sabotagers! It is hard enough as it is.
    1877 days ago
  • ALICIA363
    You did your best. It sounds like your friend is struggling with her own stuff. You are a good friend for pointing out how each of you have your own choices to make.
    This is one of my struggles, too. There IS a social component to eating, whether we like it or not. Breaking bread together implies friendship. Navigating the food choices in social situations can be challenging, especially when people we care about express discomfort and hurt feelings. Thank goodness for Spark, where we can find tips for how to handle it.
    You did great!
    1881 days ago
    That took a lot of courage on your part ! Way to stick up for yourself and know in your heart that you are doing what is right for you.
    1882 days ago
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