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Dare to be....

Saturday, April 09, 2016

When something seems difficult, dare to do it anyway....if you don't try, how will you know if you can? I feel like I've come out of the darkness now, and I'm finally seeing the light, once again. Life had beaten me down. I never dreamed such a devastating loss could happen in my life. I honestly couldn't think of living again. My heart is still shattered, but each day I'm finding a new normal. I have plenty of reasons to keep going...my 4 children, by 2 son-in-laws, my 4 grandchildren, and a 5th to be born anyday now...so there is no other option but to find a new way of living my life...

I also had some amazing news yesterday, from my oldest daughter who's been trying to get pregnant for 3 years now....she's expecting on November 29, 2016! I'm so happy for her and her husband...they will be amazing parents! So our family will soon be growing from 4-6 grandchildren....so excited! Finally something good happening for us....it seems like we've been snowballing into a black hole since 6/1714...I know my son would be so happy for his sister, knowing how much she wanted a baby. She said she's seen lots of signs from him since she found out she's pregnant....that makes me smile....knowing he's always with us....my grandsons are so affected by the loss, and it comes up all the time...the oldest and I were releasing some balloons and as we watched them float up into the sky, he turned and said, "I wish I was a balloon, so I could float up to daddy." So hard not to cry....then the youngest is watching the Good Dinosaur, and Arlo's dad dies...I and he broke out in tears, saying "this makes me so sad"....heartbreaking!!!

But, being focused on getting healthy again, and the success I'm experiencing again, helps pick up my spirit and mood. Being able to move easier and do things with my grandkids makes the hard work worth it....I think in some way, I appreciate the smaller things in life now, realizing that it can all change in a blink of an eye. I do worry a little bit more about the mortality of my husband and myself, and of course the rest of my family...but I try to push that out of my head and focus on the moment, with gratitude.

I've had a great week of workouts...the new workout is challenging, and the change keeps things fresh. I also had 4 games this week, and for the most part, my knee is holding up very well....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon Congratulations on taking care of You, and on finding a New Normal.
    1863 days ago
    It almost makes you feel guilty when you are happy about a good thing that happens on your journey, but if it were possible that your loved one could see that progress, it would be seen with rejoicing. You're just rejoicing in different places. emoticon
    1864 days ago
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