Tuesday, March 01, 2016
Continuing to flip my meals...continuing to wait on the scale to move. I'm really glad I made my breakfast sandwiches ahead of time. I can guarantee I would not make them each morning...but just doing a 30-second reheat...yep, I can do that...and have been!
Yesterday, I was feeling particularly "down." And, honestly, I didn't know why. I did some writing and discovered that three things were bothering me. One, neighbor kids are coming onto our property and being destructive. Two, my weight is not moving. Three, I have a lot to do before vacation and don't feel like I'm making progress with any of it. It helped knowing specifically what was bothering me...so instead of fighting the feeling, I could fight the causes of the feeling. I asked DH if he could remove some of the items that the neighbor kids have been destructive with (old pieces of a fence and tree branches) so they would not be as tempted to come over the property line and be destructive. I talked to DD about my feelings and she offered to come over and help me with vacation stuff. I took her up on it. Honestly, it was really hard to ask for help and to accept help. I guess that Type A personality was fighting me. But, I gave it a try. DH did remove the old fencing. And DD did help me to get some movies ready for the trip and wrapped a present for the birthday party and helped me to sort out little gifts I had purchased for car surprises, Easter, and birthday for the GD's. It's a start. I realize that there is a lot more to do. I think I just have to have faith in myself and my ability to get things done. I have some good ideas of what I want to do before leaving. I just need to allocate time to do them and follow-through on the ideas that I have.
At one point last night, after sitting and looking at an item and not knowing which occasion to apply it to, I got frustrated, left the room, turned out the light, and "gave up" deciding I would just have to sleep on it. I knew I still had to get my steps in, so I worked on those instead. I walked for a half hour, then took a 15-minute break. During the 15, I decided I knew what I wanted to do with the item. So, I got it ready. Then I walked some more, then during a break I got another item ready. I got all my steps in and went to bed. As I slept, things worked themselves out in my head and in my dreams. I realized that I have an ultimate dream...Cathy 2.0. I know what I want my life to look like and want to work toward that. I'm going to take some time and write it out and work on things to bring me closer and closer to that goal. Oh, clarity...how I love thee! Spark on!