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The body and the mind are not on the same track!

Friday, February 19, 2016

Yesterday was a tad bit warm here in Michigan.... as in the 40's! The snow is rapidly melting. When I got out of work, it was light out. I had a tinge of spring fever. I put the leash on the dog and took to the streets. I only had about an hour to walk because I was meeting a friend later at the Y - but the dog loved it!

Got home and changed into my workout clothes. It took a couple changes of shirts because the ones I wore last summer were to clingy! Yikes! It really wasn't a good winter as far as making progress goes. I am not liking this puffier body!

I picked up my friend and we headed up to the workout area. I hopped on a bike. I was pedaling away about two minutes in I wished I was done. I closed my eyes and focused on the music. I opened them. Gee one more minute down. My legs started to burn a little. I kept pedaling. Silly me thought that after my ride on Saturday that this would all have come back to me overnight. It was hard. I was sweating - lots. However, I did finish a 15 minute ride. After I walked a couple laps on the track to cool down. Then I did the weight circuit. Same deal. I thought I could up the weights to just the next one up - a little heavier..... only to find on most machines, I couldn't. I wasn't there yet. When I got on the elliptical, same sort of deal - about three minutes in I wanted to be done! I trudged along and made it to 10 minutes but then the knee started giving me some sharp pains. I slowed the pace a bit hoping that might help, but it didn't. Time to go do something else. Rowing! I used to row pretty good! However after a mere two minutes I was huffing and puffing and ready to be done. I kept going til I hit 5 minutes but called it quits.

It's funny how my mind thinks I can do things I used to do - but my body is reluctant. It shakes, quivers, and just flat out says "No, not going to do that". However, I know if I keep working my body, I will get back there. Persistence is key! My head is in the game, but my body has some work to do to get there!

Of course I say that, but I must admit when I was walking that track I could see my reflection in the windows. I really didn't like what I saw. Who was that woman? Certainly not me!

Another strange side note, I noticed yesterday that the majority of people working out at the Y that I go to are college students. Young people in their early 20's who are pretty fit and working to stay that way. Kudos to them! I only wish I did that in my younger years. The older people who were their were either runners running the track or cyclists working on crazy courses on the bikes.

One of the chorus members in my head kept popping up telling me I didn't belong there. I was too old, too fat, too out of shape, I looked hideous, everyone was watching me and snickering, or if they weren't they were wishing I'd get off that piece of equipment that they wanted to use because I was wasting my time on it and they would work it much harder.

I was entertaining all those things in my head. I really don't want to go back there. Even though I belong, I don't fit in.


Shut up!

I DO belong. I DO fit in. We are all here for the same reason - to become healthier. We all have different shapes and sizes. It doesn't matter. Maybe my fifteen minute ride on that bike was equally as hard to me as that crazy course the guy next to me was riding. He is in shape and training. My little ride would probably be a warm up for him. But for this girl it was a challenge and I was all in. I didn't quit when I wanted to. I pushed through. I finished. Not one of those people said one mean thing to me. I was the only one doing that!

I left tired, achet, sweaty but feeling good.

I will be back - regardless of what the other people look like or regardless of what I look like, AND regardless of what that silly chorus in my head tries to tell me - because I am a rock star. Who knows, if I keep this up, I may be plotting one of those crazy rides on the bike!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon emoticon
    1939 days ago
    Comparison is the thief of joy - Theodore Roosevelt
    Comparison is the death of joy - Mark Twain
    Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load - Galatians 6:4-5
    Comparison is an act of violence against oneself. You cannot be happy and envious at the same time. You DO belong. You are NOT less worthy to be there than others that may be more fit. Stop comparing yourself and be PROUD of yourself for the awesome workout you had!! YOU ROCK! You are getting stronger! You are strengthening your heart, lungs, and structural muscles. You are improving yourself.
    Keep up the great work and soon you will start loving that woman you see in the reflections!
    1939 days ago
    Mind leads the body. Celebrate your strong mind, celebrate your accomplishments. You DO belong there and you'll be getting stronger with every workout.
    Well said and well done!
    1940 days ago
  • LSIG14
    I gave up on worrying about the gorgeous young pencil person next to me when I realized there is a person inside of me who is just as valuable as Penny Pencil (and many years wiser!!) And while you stop and listen to those demons, someone else is admiring your gumption for trying!!
    1942 days ago
    I made it back to the gym yesterday after a couple of wks off (first it was mild food poisoning, yuck! but at least that should break me of the habit of ducking into local burger joint)...
    Still getting over my usual End-of-Winter sinusitis, and then to top it all off, yesterday I sprained my L knee pitching hay! So I only got in 3 min on elliptical before knee stopped me cold w/a piercing pain... I managed to walk it out on treadmill for another measly mile. Gotta start somewhere!
    1942 days ago
  • BERRY4
    The comparison TRAP will only drop you into a hole! Do what you do for YOU! ...for YOUR health & well-being!
    1942 days ago
  • ERIN1957
    Well you lead by example. You show everyone of them you are not a quitter. You show them you will finish this thang and they will admire you. If you quit, you are not only quitting you, but as well them. They need to learn, see and appreciate what you are doing. The progress will be so worth any ones reaction, especially yours.
    You got this. emoticon emoticon
    1942 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13423552
    You do belong! You are doing this for your health and to get and stay fit just like them. You need some music to drown out the chorus in your head. I hope you keep going back!
    1942 days ago
  • FRANRN76
    First off, don't let yourself be intimidated by anyone.They are there for the same reason. To get healthy & stay that way. If they were staring just think to yourself that ur puting in the work. Obviously they arent. Sho them up. & keep going strong
    1942 days ago
  • SAM_I_AM_2K
    Damned right, you belong!!
    And you never know who is watching you. Not snickering or wishing you'd leave... but proud of you for being there and trying and starting where you are - and improving!
    1942 days ago
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