Yesterday was a tad bit warm here in Michigan.... as in the 40's! The snow is rapidly melting. When I got out of work, it was light out. I had a tinge of spring fever. I put the leash on the dog and took to the streets. I only had about an hour to walk because I was meeting a friend later at the Y - but the dog loved it!
Got home and changed into my workout clothes. It took a couple changes of shirts because the ones I wore last summer were to clingy! Yikes! It really wasn't a good winter as far as making progress goes. I am not liking this puffier body!
I picked up my friend and we headed up to the workout area. I hopped on a bike. I was pedaling away about two minutes in I wished I was done. I closed my eyes and focused on the music. I opened them. Gee one more minute down. My legs started to burn a little. I kept pedaling. Silly me thought that after my ride on Saturday that this would all have come back to me overnight. It was hard. I was sweating - lots. However, I did finish a 15 minute ride. After I walked a couple laps on the track to cool down. Then I did the weight circuit. Same deal. I thought I could up the weights to just the next one up - a little heavier..... only to find on most machines, I couldn't. I wasn't there yet. When I got on the elliptical, same sort of deal - about three minutes in I wanted to be done! I trudged along and made it to 10 minutes but then the knee started giving me some sharp pains. I slowed the pace a bit hoping that might help, but it didn't. Time to go do something else. Rowing! I used to row pretty good! However after a mere two minutes I was huffing and puffing and ready to be done. I kept going til I hit 5 minutes but called it quits.
It's funny how my mind thinks I can do things I used to do - but my body is reluctant. It shakes, quivers, and just flat out says "No, not going to do that". However, I know if I keep working my body, I will get back there. Persistence is key! My head is in the game, but my body has some work to do to get there!
Of course I say that, but I must admit when I was walking that track I could see my reflection in the windows. I really didn't like what I saw. Who was that woman? Certainly not me!
Another strange side note, I noticed yesterday that the majority of people working out at the Y that I go to are college students. Young people in their early 20's who are pretty fit and working to stay that way. Kudos to them! I only wish I did that in my younger years. The older people who were their were either runners running the track or cyclists working on crazy courses on the bikes.
One of the chorus members in my head kept popping up telling me I didn't belong there. I was too old, too fat, too out of shape, I looked hideous, everyone was watching me and snickering, or if they weren't they were wishing I'd get off that piece of equipment that they wanted to use because I was wasting my time on it and they would work it much harder.
I was entertaining all those things in my head. I really don't want to go back there. Even though I belong, I don't fit in.
I DO belong. I DO fit in. We are all here for the same reason - to become healthier. We all have different shapes and sizes. It doesn't matter. Maybe my fifteen minute ride on that bike was equally as hard to me as that crazy course the guy next to me was riding. He is in shape and training. My little ride would probably be a warm up for him. But for this girl it was a challenge and I was all in. I didn't quit when I wanted to. I pushed through. I finished. Not one of those people said one mean thing to me. I was the only one doing that!
I left tired, achet, sweaty but feeling good.
I will be back - regardless of what the other people look like or regardless of what I look like, AND regardless of what that silly chorus in my head tries to tell me - because I am a rock star. Who knows, if I keep this up, I may be plotting one of those crazy rides on the bike!