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No Negative Thoughts

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Throughout my life I have gingerly self sabotaged everything that I thought I held dear. My weight efforts, my relationships and my determination to be calm, cool and collected. What has it gotten me? Overweight, without a boyfriend/ husband and needing to take anxiety medication. Being overweight has taught me humility. Something I didn't have until my thirties. I was pretty hot if I should say so myself lol. Until I wasn't. I have also discovered that I really suck at relationships. I expect too much. You know, little things like honesty and loyalty. So I'm okay without a relationship. Cool, calm and collected? One acronym, PTSD. The military kind. I'm still working on that one. What I do know is this; I am learning that not everyone is looking at me and my weight. Here's a thought; it's not all about me. Crazy right? I thought so too at first lol. So where am I now? Overweight still but have embraced that concept which took away the anxiety. I don't like my weight but not because I'm looking to impress anyone. Now it is about health and my quality of life. I don't feel the self imposed pressure anymore. Sooo, there's no self sabotaging. What will be will be.
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