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Day 1 - Third times a charm right?

Tuesday, February 02, 2016

emoticon emoticon I have been on Spark before.. twice before to be exact. I really love the resources that Spark provides so when I get good and fed up I turn to Spark. My problem in the past is I am incredibly shy. I have a hard time making friends because like a lot of people with weight issues (as well as other issues) I am terrified that people are judging me. I am scared that I am never doing enough.

Well when I weighed myself the other day and realized I was back up to my all time high of 282 pounds enough was enough. I knew I needed to do something about it and it doesn't matter what people think about me. It matters what I think about me.

I am tired of being tired, I am sick of being sick. I hate how I feel within my own body and that my incredibly low self esteem is affecting my social life and my relationship with my husband.

I wasn't like this when I was in high school. I was outgoing and friendly. I was involved in theater and choir. I actually got voted the most friendly girl in my drama club. I was also about half the weight I am now.

I know that my weight isn't the only reason I am so shy now. I've been hurt by quite a few people over the years so it makes it hard for me to trust.

I am ready to take back my power though. I have let myself be isolated for far to long. My first step is to come back to Spark and work on my health and happiness.

My Goals:
-To go to the gym at least 3 times a week.

This one is a biggy for me since it directly challenges the fact that I often isolate myself. It also challenges my fear of being judged by others.

This is the most difficult goal. I plan on giving myself a small gift every week I meet this challenge

-To eat out no more than 2 times per week

The obstacle with this one is I share a kitchen with my in laws. They fix their meal and I fix mine and my husband's. Sometimes it is easier to eat out and eating out gives my husband and I time alone.

I plan on buying a smaller crock pot on the 8th and going to places such as the gym, library, and mall to spend time with hubby away from the house.

- To weigh myself daily.

I know this seems counter intuitive to many here. We've been told NOT to do this since it can cause us to worry about the number. I find if I don't weigh myself daily I get easily off course.

Join a group that tracks weight daily.

-Sign into Spark daily.

This one is easy. I sometimes get busy or worry about not spending time with my husband. Even if I just get long in points and track my food and exercise that is enough. I won't worry that I am not doing enough.

Take a few minutes and remember it's an investment in my health.

-Track food daily.

Eating right can't be replaced with exercise. I have to remember I am not perfect. Track all of my food and learn from my choices.

This info along with my weight and exercise tracking gives valuable feedback and teaches me what works and doesn't.

So that's my game plan folks. I hope to lose 2-2.5 pounds per week. I am considered in the obese category so this shouldn't be a problem for me. As long as I am doing this in a healthful way.

I would love to make new friends. Please feel free to friend me. Like I said on my page... I'm shy at first but once you get to know me I am a good friend. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks everyone for the support. I am feeling this time around it is more like the first time I was on Spark. I was very successful that time until a rather bad tumble took me out for a bit. I know I can do this and appreciate the kind thought. emoticon
    1521 days ago
    You seem to "worry" a lot. Worried about what people think of you, worried that you aren't spending enough time with your husband, worried you aren't doing enough, just worried worried worried. Doesn't that get tiring? I would think living with your "inlaws" might be difficult, but if you plan to seriously lose weight, set boundaries and STICK with them. Also, take some steps learning how to love yourself again and stop worrying. It is wasted energy.
    1523 days ago
    You sound a lot like me. So glad you are here and putting yourself first. You are right, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - no matter what! What you think of yourself and how you take care of yourself is the most important part of your world!

    1523 days ago
    Its all about being healthy and feeling good about yourself! You can do this! :D
    1523 days ago
    I know the feeling that self conciousness can give. Ive been in your shoes with the shyness and not wanting to be social because of my weight. You are not alone! But once I decided that it doesnt matter what other ppl think it helped a lot!
    1523 days ago
    Great blog. You just said everything that I feel. You have a winning attitude and you are going to do great!
    1523 days ago
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