Body Image

Christmas is over. I celebrated this season with a personal gift: I completed the half marathon in 2:56 on 24th. No amount of aches would blunt my joy. In my previous attempt, one month ago, I'd completed the same in more than 4 hours. This year I started my weight loss journey weighing 255 lbs. At my last weigh in I was 205 lbs. There were more dramatic changes to my body, as my pant size dropped 6 inches, and went from wearing XXL to L. Well, after Christmas lunch, the ocassion warranted group photos. I immediately reverted to original form. I've always refused to take photos. I don't have photos of the past years because I really didn't like how I looked. I'd to be dragged into just three of the hundreds of photos taken. In my mind I was still obese and that thought formed my timidity. Well, I got the photos sent to me. I was totally shocked. The reality was nothing like my mental image. In the photos I was the smallest. As I looked at the photos I begun reflecting on body image and how I still viewed my body despite my weight loss to date. While I'd the raw data regarding my weight loss, reduction in dress sizes etc, it still didn't translate into a change in my attitude. I still was obese in my mind, even if my BMI is almost at healthy weight level. I felt it was time to celebrate, not to be too uptight and recognise that the hundreds of minutes spent in cardio per week have paid off. I feel I must celebrate my portion control, and attempts at honest calorie differentials per day. I'd a christmas lunch of 650 calories and still had a differential of 500 at the end of the day. This is a celebratory joyful blog. This Christmas has given me a great realization, that one must also go through an internal change, and recognise the outward changes. I look forward to losing my last 22lbs next year, to finally reach my ideal weight. I also want to finish a full marathon and half triathlon. I know that with my renewed confidence and self esteem I can do this. Happy New Year to you all