Friday, December 04, 2015
Daisy seems unconcerned that her mega bed is located in the traditional Christmas tree location, we'll see how she likes relocation!
I know this is just a last ditch effort to procrastinate getting ready for tomorrow's craft show, but so what?? haha This Christmas show is the only one I do anymore, and it's a pretty big one. I have been making soap for more than 20 years now and have explored all the various aspects of that business: selling online, wholesaling in stores, having my own brick and mortar storefront, etc. Each one of these were sustainable during different stages of my life while raising the kids, and for awhile I toyed with expanding and making it a big operation but in the end I realized that staying small allowed me to expand and contract as needed. I could make money when I had the time and when family demands were heavy I could let things go. I have done this show with my daughter since she was small and this might be the last year, to be honest. Her schedule with school and work is filling up so it feels like the end of an era in many ways. I am not sure what next year will bring.
I have been feeling off lately emotionally and mentally, and I know it stems in large part from neglecting my yoga practice. "But you are a yoga teacher? How can you neglect yoga when you are teaching all week long?" That is precisely how you neglect it. When teaching, I do about half of the poses as demo for the students, and my attention is on them. So I am moving my body to some extent, but it's no actual practice. Ironically, as a teacher now I can come to unlimited studio classes for free, and I am doing less yoga than ever..... this is a trend that needs reversal. Consistent yoga practice helped me get off antidepression meds 5 years ago and allowed me to be there for my dad during his last few years struggling with illness and dementia. I developed a strength and sense of purpose from my practice and I don't want to let that slide. I would like to go to more studio classes but the reality is that I don't feel great about giving up a lot more time from my schedule to do that.
The real answer is of course, HOME PRACTICE. This is my nemesis. I struggled with this during teacher training, doing some half-assed practices as home, feeling silly and ineffective. I told myself once I was really a TEACHER it would feel better, more natural, etc. But that was crap because I still feel as uncomfortable with it as ever. I just don't want to do yoga at home. Even if I am doing the exact same sequence we do at the studio, somehow at home it feels like a joke. I have no excuse for this irrational feeling. I have a nice space and a whole head full of knowledge. So why can't I just do it? Honestly I feel like conquering this roadblock has got to be my focus going forward.
If any of you have figured out how to have a consistent practice at home, be it yoga or exercise of any sort, I would certainly appreciate any tips. I would imagine it is the same process, trying to get yourself to workout at home rather than going to a gym. Ugh now I really need to get back to wrapping soap...