Keepin on Keepin on
Sunday, November 22, 2015
So I am 2 weeks in to going back to work. During that time I either gained a pound or plateaued which is still success. A tiny regain can be overcome in very short order.
I have been feeling super anxious in general with this transition, I will be a better version of myself to have more interaction with the adult world, working outside the home makes it easier for me to ask for help from my husband for anything, My son is happy with his daycare, when I was still off and we had started him at daycare I think he was bored on the days we stayed home.
Heres the big but, I don't love my job, hit has its high points but it is a customer service job and that can be VERY emotionally wearying and outright emotionally abusive and to boot some managers are great and others really are not. I don't need this job but there are really good benefits and I would like to have another child soonish and having a second income and then maternity leave would be great financially. But we can afford for me to stay home, but then I would be really bored and unhappy.
Change can be hard to deal with and I want to make sure that I take care of myself still. I want to lose about 30 more pounds before TTC. I worry that I will not succeed at doing so in a few months time. It took me 6 months to lose 27 pounds and the last 2 months my loss was 7 pounds. I am trying to keep my focus on being healthy rather than numbers but I struggle with that having a set goal that I am looking to reach as soon as I can. Knowing that I don't love my job but wanting to keep it until I have baby no 2 I am feeling the pressure.
I worry that in trying to keep the best balance of priorities I am not going to continue applying myself to working out and weight loss.
There is one thing that is pretty funny, despite getting in 1-2 hours more sleep I am feeling more tired but this is quite a change after being away from work for over 2 years.
And yet I have done this job for years and in the past 6 months I have lost more weight than I ever have in the past. I have stuck with it and persevered. I can do my job and I can lose weight. I am thinking of doing the 21 day fix program starting Dec 1. Another good chunk of weight coming off would be awesome especially right before Christmas. There is always Christmas to look forward to as well, the little guy will be 2 and that will be wonderful to see him experience Christmas. There is nothing in the world like hearing his giggles.