Well, That Didn't Work!
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
So, Monday I thought I was doing well. I toughed it out at work. Fell asleep at my desk a time or two, but woke my butt up and tried to occupy myself with things. It didn't help that I started off the day with bad news that money I've been trying to get for 2 years just ran out for this fiscal year. No word yet on when the next fiscal year begins but we're all afraid it's July 1. It's bad news for at least 3 clients that were counting on this help and the end to countless hours of work I've been putting in over the past 2 years. (Or, at least, a hold on it...and when I go back again I'll have to start from scratch...again...which I've done about 10 times with this project.) When I got home, I had some photography business work to finish up. A client's holiday cards needed to be designed and sent out to her for review and approval so that I can get them in on time to ship to her so that she can ship them out to family. I finally headed upstairs around 8pm or so to rest.
And rest I did. I slept until noon yesterday, completely wiped. To make matters worse, last night I laid down and pulled something in my stomach. UGH! I felt like I was being ripped apart all over again!
For those thinking "she took the easy way out" ....HA! The doc said because of my tough abs, I was going to take longer to heal...and apparently he's right. Most sleevers I watch on YouTube are up and bouncy at 2 weeks. I'm still so sore I walk kinda like a penguin and bending over the get things is pretty much impossible without tons of pain. Yesterday evening I broke down and cried...again. Twice. Once to my mom and once to my husband. Given all the stereotypes we get about fat people being lazy...that's just never been me. Even my husband remarked that he was worried he won't be able to keep up once I'm healed because even at my highest weight I was always doing something or planning the next thing. I like chill time now and again, but I get antsy after a while and need to do something. Not to mention, laying on my back is KILLING ME!
So I took yesterday off work. I had to. But I'm back at it today. Taking a few hours off at the end of the day so that I can shorten the day a bit. Tomorrow I have to travel for a meeting, so that should be fun. (or not) Friday, I'll play it by ear.
This morning I told Shane that I just need to treat it like I have ever other chronic pain in my life. My hips, my back, my feet and my ankles...I've had to struggle with them all and somehow I got through. I'll just treat this like that and hopefully I'll make it through like I've done before. (Shane noted how incredibly sad and depressing this statement was, but I told him it's just life for me and I've become accustomed to it.)
Hopefully I'm healed up by my next photoshoot on the 29th! Or at least enough to suffer through. (I do have a strange way of not feeling anything when I'm shooting. It's like a state of euphoria and nothing else matters. I don't detect cold or heat. I even fell on my last shoot right on my knees HARD and just kept going. I still have the bruise from that one!)
As far as my food...that's going alright. I eat 2-3 times a day, usually. I can't drink 30 minutes before or 60 minutes after to let the food properly process and do what it's supposed to do. My favorites right now are hummus with 3 oven baked crackers, chicken salad with 3 Ritz crackers, and the pureed beef stew I had the other day wasn't too bad either. For breakfast I either eat a little oats with natural peanut butter stirred in or an egg with some cheddar cheese (I can eat about 1/2 of an egg right now). I can eat about 1/4 cup of food or so right now, so once I'm full, I wait an hour and then sip the rest of the day. The majority of my protein comes from Isopure right now as I'm still struggling with my shakes. (I really hope I move past that...)
I did finally set up a Thanksgiving Menu for my home. Even though I'd rather just ignore the day, I know my family would still like to enjoy some of the regular faire...and, honestly, I can eat most of it...just not much, not at once, and not necessarily the way they can. I've decided on:
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy (because the boys will eat on it for days)
Green Beans (canned, because that's what I like, dangit! *lol*)
Low Carb, Low Sugar Pumpkin Pie
I'm specifically avoiding stuffing and rolls because I can't eat those right now and that's just too much temptation and torture. I won't be able to eat the turkey, but I'm not a huge turkey fan anyhow. I may make some turkey stew with some of the leftovers, which I could then puree, but we shall see. I also realize we're potato heavy...but potatoes are an approved soft food, dangit! And it's what my family likes best. The roasted veg will probably be fingerling potatoes, green peppers, and asparagus tossed in garlic, salt and olive oil like usual. I may toss in some carrots for good measure.
Basically, I'll have to split up this meal because I couldn't even eat a bit of everything anyhow...one reason I invested in some small 1/2 cup containers post-op. They're perfect for portioning out little meals for me to take to work and such.
Friday I plan to meet with a friend (again, if I'm feeling alright) to go shopping and maybe grab some brunch (again, I can eat eggs! *lol*).
I'm just trying to regain some normalcy here!
I cannot WAIT until I feel good enough to CLEAN and decorate for the holidays! I want to have a VERY Merry Christmas (I REALLY hope I'm not still hurting by then!).