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i will NOT give up, i've come too far for that..

Thursday, November 12, 2015

afraid i've done it again, climbed on that damned old pity-pot and gotten myself in a state of despair & self-loathing....got myself, with GOD's grace, and support from spark people from 425lbs to under 200...then, once again, a wrench gets thrown into my well oiled routine..my pacemaker fails, requiring an emergency replacement of the device and adding MORE meds (total meds daily:13)...arthritis flares so badly that they give me opioids, (which certainly numbed the pain, but, oh the nausea & other side effects)..and diagnosed with copd/emphysema, now taking corticosteroids; 2 inhalers, nubulizer and nasal spray......my days have become like the movie "groundhog day", each day like the 1 before...planned around my med schedule..through depression and a deep sense of hopeless/helplessness, i've put back more than 50lbs..mobility has become worse due (probably) to the gained tonnage and, even worse, my clothes are very tight..need to find where i misplaced my resolve..i KNOW what to do..WHY am i not doing it?
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  • no profile photo KELLYSCHIENBEIN
    You can do it!
    2044 days ago
    Don't give up
    2044 days ago
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